Well by the end of the week we’ll be stuffed with turkey and pie and trudging off to kickoff the annual Christmas aerobics event of bargain shopping. Most of us probably have less than usual to spend so getting just the right gift may be more important this year than in years past. And all of us have that one friend or relative who is really tough to buy for because they either have everything or they are so picky no matter what you get they won’t like it.
So in the interest of helping my fellow shoppers I offer the following as some possible unusual and delightful gift suggestions:
- A TSA grope-free pass. Quite expensive and only good for one free pass through security but especially useful for the handicapped, religious workers, children and cancer victims. A gift that truly shows you care.
- An Obamacare waiver. Again it’s got a hefty pricetag and you might have to vote Democrat for a full election cycle but consider your savings as a good tradeoff.
- A cell phone jammer jammer. If you, like me, love to talk on your cell while driving than this little item will keep big brother on his toes when trying to get between you and your cell phone friends.
- A don’t touch my junk tee-shirt, mug or screen saver. A real winner for the political activist on your list.
- Mistletoe to go. This snazzy item is for the friend or relative who just can’t get any action on their own. I mean who can refuse mistletoe at Christmas-time?
- A smoker’s umbrella. For those poor social pariahs still smoking, standing out in the rain to get their nicotene fix is just cruel and unusual. This handy dandy item even comes with it’s own ashtray. So good for you and the environment. A win-win as far as I can tell.
- A stuffed toy version of yourself. For the narscisist on your list having a custom stuffed toy replica of themselves is bound to bring smiles and reinforce their inflated opinion of themselves.
- Obama t.p. For the staunch conservative on your list, this harmless method of retaliation of our fearless leader may be the gift that keeps on giving.
- A slanket. Nothing the couch potato on your list wants more than something warm and snuggly to log in all those endless hours of useless viewing with. I mean, what a great idea – a binky for adults!
- A Jedi Mind Control Game. For the truly spiritual yet loopy person on your list – this can provide hours of harmless fun in practicing how to influence public opinion.
Well, I’m sure there are plenty more weird, strange and outrageous gifts out there but these seemed like good possibilities. Feel free to add to the list.