Like anyone, experience has taught me, often the hard way, that there are certain things to keep in mind as I go merrily tripping through life. Unfortunately, I am easily distracted and so I feel duty-bound to commit this list to permanent record in case I need to reference it later.
Hopefully, this list will also serve as a cautionary tale to others who also merrily trip through life:
Don’t blow battery acid in your face. Actually it was that weird fuzzy stuff that builds up on the battery cables. I only popped the hood to refill the washer fluid when I noticed the fuzz. So I decided to get my nifty wire brush and take care of the fuzz while the hood was open. The brush worked well enough but there was some fuzz that I just couldn’t get to. So yeah, I bent down and blew on it. Needless to say there was a lot of eye washing and squinting that followed. But that weird squiggly thing I see if I shift my eyes too fast is kind of interesting.
Don’t wear clean clothes when you go dog shopping with a friend. So Zelda needed a new dog and went off to the local shelter which entailed a two-day dog fest, including jumping, shedding, drooling, dog kisses, and other smelly things. My own dog regarded me suspiciously for the next couple of days.
Don’t expect your friends to believe that your work schedule is more important than helping them pick up their new dog. Despite the fact that I was buried in work and had a million things going on that day, Zelda was not deterred in getting me to help her retrieve the new dog. When I finally agreed, she said she would be there in ten minutes – which only took her 45 minutes to achieve. Naturally, I was required to ride in the back with the dog on the way home. Which resulted in more drooling, dog kisses and smelly results. My own dog refused to speak to me for two days.
Always verify the time of your multi-time zone conference call. The conference call invite did say 10 a.m. – 11 a.m. but in my defense all the other participants were in the Eastern Time zone, including the host. Was it really a stretch to assume that they meant Eastern Time? Apparently so. Little did I know that the program did a little time conversion for my benefit which went right over my head. So getting up at 5:30 that morning to make a 7 a.m. conference call that was really scheduled for 10 a.m. was a bit self-defeating.
Never believe your bank when they tell you the problem is handled – always verify. A notice from the bank arrived in the mail informing me that they had charged back a bad check I wrote. Since I don’t write bad checks I was alarmed. Apparently, a woman who has the same name as I, wrote a check and somehow my bank thought it would be a good idea to get the money from my account because she clearly didn’t have any. I immediately called the bank and was assured it would be handled. When it wasn’t handled I called back and got the same assurances. By the fifth call I was fit to be tied but fortunately, that lady actually cared about my problem and fixed it. Except the penalty charge remained. And it took, three calls to handle that. No, I’m not kidding and not even exaggerating.
If you are expecting a check, the mailman will be late. Or your regular mailman will be off that day and someone who moves slower than molasses will be covering for him. Ongoing, always happens – apparently no way around it.
When in doubt, garden. I’m a writer and I also have a small business. Consequently, I live in my head (and in front of a computer) most of the time. And it’s easy to believe that everything revolves around emails, projects, conference calls, and work. It doesn’t. When I can force myself outside and do something like gardening, I start liking life again. Oh look, a squirrel…or is that a ground hog?
Food is not love. No but it sure tastes good. And I’m Irish and we like food, it’s our way of offering comfort and showing love. Plus I love to cook. Oh well, maybe chubby will someday be in. And yet I never quite lose the guilt of the thing I ate that I shouldn’t have. Brownies, anyone?
What about you? What things do you have to write down to remember?