Writers are weird ducks – at least as far as ‘normal’ people are concerned. Our brains are a never-ending source of people, places, ideas, stories, worlds, languages, dialects and facts – many of which don’t actually exist. Except in our heads.
And we love to research. We collect strange, trivial facts like little boys collect bugs – can’t get enough of them. And given that we spend an extraordinary amount of time alone (in our heads) we’re not particularly good at social intercourse. Read – we lack filters.
But we’re creative. And creative is fun. And we want to share the fun. Especially since we spend so much time in our heads in our little rooms making stuff up.
So it might not occur to you that some things you just don’t want to share with your friends or significant others. Like:
1. The fact that you know at least 50 different ways to kill someone. Poisons, weapons, hand to hand combat, choke holds, garrotes, tools of torture, lethal herbs, how to mimic real life heart attacks – you know them all and find them fascinating. Sure, you need to know these things because you write murder mysteries. But do you think that cute guy or gal you just started dating wants to know that you could kill them 50 different ways?
2. That they are an inspiration for a character. Now you may think this will flatter them or make them feel special. However, given human nature, chances are they will search your stories for anything that even remotely sounds like them. Or they’ll criticize you for depicting them as a bitch or a jerk or stupid or somehow incorrect and unflattering. And God help you if you break up – a lawsuit could be in the offing.
3. That ten minutes into the movie you’re watching you know who did it or how the story will end. You’re a writer, you recognize plot points, inciting incidents, red herrings and every other writer device employed to create a story. And you’re okay with that because you enjoy seeing how other writers use those devices to craft a story. Your girlfriend/boyfriend, mom, sister, friend however, is not a writer. They don’t want to know the ending. They want to be surprised. So don’t ruin it for them.
4. That basically you think for a living. Let’s face it, we write and we write a lot but before we write, we think. While we’re writing, we think. We just think all the time – working out plots, character arcs, playing what if… Whatever. And the truth is a lot more thinking hours are logged in than anything else. This will surprise and likely disappoint your non-writer friends. Because they can think and nobody pays them for it. And let’s face it, we already have to deal with people who think that writing is the same as talking and since they can talk, writing really shouldn’t be a job, right? Imagine the response to the thinking angle. Although there’s boundless evidence that many people don’t or can’t think – everyone believes they are thinkers – and brilliant ones at that.
5. That you talk to your characters – regularly. Come on, admit it. We all do it. We all talk to our characters almost as much as we talk to the ‘real’ people in our lives. It’s part of the process. But strictly speaking, talking to imaginary people likely classifies as one type of mental illness or another. And those meds are expensive. And though you get a lot of alone time in a little room, they usually won’t let you have writing implements.
6. That the character you created that they adore was once a clown with a gambling problem and a criminal record. It doesn’t matter that the character is currently a super hero who uses laughter to do good in the world. If you tell them about previous incarnations it’ll ruin it for them. They’ll never see the character the same way again. Ditto for first drafts.
7. Any idea you have for a book. Sure, there might be a few writer friends or beta readers you can run an idea by. But the average lay person will inevitably turn that conversation into an idea they always had for a book. They will then proceed to tell you all about their idea and offer it to you because they’ll never get around to writing it themselves. And heck fire, they’ll split the profits with you too. In the alternative, it may be such a good idea that your friend blabs it around and next thing you know, somebody else has written the book. Keep ideas to yourself.
8. How many books you sell/money you make. Unless you’re a NYT bestseller (in which case they’ll already assume you are a bagillionaire) keep your sales data and financial gain or loss to yourself. It only opens the door to criticism and suggestions of finding a real job or worse, advice on how you could do better.
If you keep these things to yourself you may pull off living up to the carefully crafted image of the mysterious, interesting writer that you’ve spent years creating. If you don’t ,you’ll just be Arnie’s and Mabel’s kid who lives in their basement and refuses to get a real job.
How about you? Have you told friends or family too much about your writerliness? Were they shocked, disappointed, sad? Did they point their finger at you and laugh? What do you keep to yourself as a writer? Speak your mind in the comments below.
Writer Chick
copyright 2015
awww….and you told to everyone my friend…there are more to reveal….i’ve gone through your post…amazingly awesome….wouldn’t you sd kept it secret……lol.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh it’s okay Rajat, only writers are reading this, right. 😀
LikeLike
this is a great piece. agree with most of the points. thanks
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.
LikeLike
Love this…and it’s a very interesting muse on not sharing with people who inspire characters!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Pam,
You know you really can get sued for using other people in your work – and a lot of authors have. So, yeah shhh, let’s keep that part to ourselves. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
#3. I do that. Drives my wife crazy! 😝
LikeLiked by 1 person
We just can’t help ourselves, can we? 😀
LikeLike
My writer self is precious to me. I’m very different from my family. I love them how they are but haven’t let them see my true weird. A child learns quickly what to show and not to show. But that’s okay. I’m happy with who I am – highly creative, a bit odd, spontaneous speak in accents, manifests many funny faces. I know they wouldn’t get it, but that’s okay.
I have a small circle of weirdos in my life and wouldn’t have it any other way because I prefer my alone time – lots of it actually.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes Princess Weird I understand completely. And it seems your small circle of weirdos is growing. LOL. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
True. It is indeed. Having fun with you weirdos.
LikeLiked by 1 person
same same 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
I definitely agree with #2. Only because my friends and family’s negative flaws are the best to add to a character. But of course, I doubt my peeps would appreciate that kind of recognition.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL. Yeah, probably best to not mention it to the peeps. Right? Like politics over Thanksgiving dinner, some things should be off the table. 😀
LikeLike
I’m a bit of a recluse, so friends are not an issue. Hubs has had to put up with some of the things on your list, lol 🙂 He gets really mad about the movie part, so when we go to the movies he always seats out son between us to make sure I can’t talk to him comfortably. I still whisper sometimes, though 😛
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL Ramona – your husband has you nailed. I really laughed when I read this – putting your son between you is hilarious.
LikeLike
I shouldn’t have told my family I am writing a book, they just want me to hurry and finish so “we” can go spend some money; they are probably just kidding though.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL Elva, they’re gonna help you spend the millions you make from the book? I love family, don’t you? 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Okay??!! Yea, families are so funny.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on Barrow Blogs: .
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks!
LikeLike
Thanks!
LikeLike
I gotta remember..
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL! Yes, because they’ll be a quiz later. 😀
LikeLike
Ah, the thinking thing. They all say we think too much.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL, it’s a dirty job but somebody’s got to do it, right? 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
I must be very odd…I don’t do hardly any of those things!
Cultivated being mysterious and interesting for years, it must be working!
LikeLike
Well done! Now that you mention it, your picture is rather mysterious. 😀
LikeLike
Thanks for posting an excellent article.
LikeLike
My pleasure. Thanks for reading. 😀
LikeLike
Reblogged this on D.L. Perching and commented:
Really enjoy her blog posts…
LikeLike
😀
LikeLike
Thanks, nice post.
WC
LikeLike
I try not to tell my family anything related to writing about zombies…
LikeLike
Understandable. 😀
Someone told me the other day that I had a dark mind. And I told them I wrote murder mysteries. She nodded thoughtfully and said, “makes sense.” LOL. What does that mean? 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person