I’m one of those people who does things with their whole heart. I can’t be halfway. I’m either all in or all out. It’s just how I’m wired. Some see it as a character flaw because you know, I take things to heart. I take things personally. Because to me, it is personal. I mean anything that is part of my life is personal, isn’t it?
Sure I’ve tried to develop a thick skin and act like things don’t matter. It’s just a job or a crappy review, or some guy I didn’t want to date anyway – whatever it doesn’t matter. But doesn’t it? If it’s part of your life, it is personal. Doesn’t it have to be? I think so.
I once had a friend who told me she puts things in boxes. In her head. Must be a pretty organized head, right. You know? This argument goes in this box. This catastrophe goes in this box. My grocery list goes in another box. Wow, I sit back in wonder of people who can do this. I can’t.
But the truth is, I don’t want to live in a box. I want to live in the waves that threaten to drown me and tap dance in thunder storms wearing my tin foil hat. Wail like a banshee when something hurts. Laugh like an idiot when something tickles me. I want all the colors in the crayon box. And I don’t want to color inside the lines either. Vivid, bright colors that make you shield your eyes. I want to talk loud when I’m excited, wear red lipstick just because, and paint my nails purple because it’s pretty. Eat the whole loaf of bread I just pulled out of the oven and slather it in butter.
Life is there to live, to experience, to try, to fail, to sometimes succeed. Maybe even to fly. So…with my whole heart I choose to aim for the skies. I’m all in.Always. Come what may.
What about you? Are you all in? All out? Do you feel with your whole heart? Do you hold back because you’re worried what people will think? Do you take one cookie when you want 10?
Speak with your whole heart (or whatever part you care to share) in the comments.
Writer Chick
Anita Rodgers Mystery Writer 
I happened upon an article entitled something to do with a highly sensitive person (HSP). Someone needs to come up with a better term, but it was a wonderful discovery. I’m a deeply feeling person.An empath. But also cautious. I feel things very deeply. I feel other people’s pain and negative energy. I worry about the person in the wheelchair and how they’re going to navigate the waiting room. I guess I’m an all in person which is why I don’t let too many get close. I expect the same in return. It’s rare to find all in people. It’s a blessing and a curse at times really. Don’t settle, dear one.
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I’ve read about HSP also. I think that probably most creatives (writers, dancers, singers, painters, actors, ect) are HSP – you kind of have to be to create work that resonates with others, right? I understand what you mean by feelings others pain and emotions – often I can’t drive on the freeway because I can ‘hear’ what people are thinking and it turns into information overload for me. On the other hand, though there are a lot of ‘rat bastids’ out there, I truly believe that most people are good and try to do right by others. I find comfort in that.
Annie 😀
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Yeah, I read that many creatives are HSPs. Yes, there are a lot of good kind people out there, but many rats, too. The bad part about being an empath/HSP for me with fibromyalgia is since symptoms are triggered by stress and I absorb people’s moods – good or bad – you see the trouble. This man was flipping out in line in front of me at Chipotle because it was taking so long. Complaining and sighing and it made me feel terrible. But it’s good wne we can feel others who are sad and help them. Overall, I’m happy to be an HSP. 🙂
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Yes, I understand about ‘absorbing’ other people’s moods – I’ve had a few experiences like that myself. Very uncomfortable to say the least. Yes, I think being an HSP is a good thing.
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Reblogged this on purelysimplewords.
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Thanks 😀
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Interesting post, as usual, Annie. I don’t know if the two notions are mutually exclusive. I can’t survive without, well, all the things you don’t like, lol 😀 I’m organized in the extreme. I can’t really help it. But I’m also all in in all the things I do, because leaving something unfinished or done just for the sake of doing it would also drive me mad. So, maybe, I’m a little bit of both?
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Hi Ramona,
Oh I like organization well enough – but I can’t box things up in my head. Perhaps that is a contradiction in terms though. 😀 Don’t you think that as writers (and other creatives) we kind of have to be all in – it seems to me this is sort an occupational hazard for creatives.
Annie
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Do I always? No, but I try and make the decision to.
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Works for me. 😀
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I think there is a book that talks about thoughts in boxes, but it had to do with male and female differences in how they think and categorize thoughts. Now I can’t remember what it is called, but if it comes to me I’ll let you know.
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Hi,
I seem to recall a joke or part of a comedian’s routine going around the Internet where a man describes the difference between the way men and women think. Men us boxes, women don’t. So, yeah I suppose there’s that. I don’t know if there is a study or anything ‘official’ about it though. I’d be interested in knowing if you find anything like that though.
WC
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I’m an introvert and often have a tough time making decisions. But once I decide, I’m all in, even if I’m the last one in.
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Hey Girl,
Isn’t it funny how writers are so typically introverts? I mean words are our wheelhouse and yet…. I love the irony of that. I’m like you, once I’ve decided, definitely all in, come hell or high water. 😀
Annie
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If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well!!!
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Hells yeah! 😀
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All in and I would eat the whole box of cookies not just 10
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LOL. That’s the spirit. I love cookies too and between you and me I’ve been known to eat a box myself. 😀
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I’ve found that the best cure for being an HSP is writing and lots of it. It releases the sensation overload and provides material for beautiful art. Writing has given me an ability to transform something negative into something positive, and maybe it does the same thing for a lot of people who write.
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