- Shouldn’t toilet paper really be called butt paper?
- Does anyone else think that mail is a sexist term?
- I blame baggy gansta pants for childhood obesity (I mean who could tell?)
- Would anyone object to a group called the White Panthers? How about the National Association for the Advancement of White People?
- How come a loaf of bread costs the same as a gallon of gas?
- If our objective is to reduce unemployment, why do we keep paying the unemployed?
- If our government can deficit spend as a matter of course, why don’t my credit card companies let me do it?
- Do you think the people who want to build a mosque at Ground Zero will let us erect a Catholic church in Mecca?
- How stimulating are these? Or this?
- If time waits for no man, does it give women a break?
- If the corrupt congressional swamp is drained why are there still so many people in it?
- If you have low self-esteem would anybody want to steal your identity?
- Does anybody besides the media really care that Chelsea Clinton got married?
- How come we the People can’t get a job but the government has zero unemployment?
- Why did it take so long to send Lindsay Lohan to jail?
- American Idol is still on the air?
- If the boy scouts are racist and exclusionary why isn’t the Black Caucus?
- Is everything in the known universe still George Bush’s fault?
- Is Robert Gibbs the unknown BeeGee?
Methinks the Onion has it right. Enjoy!
Random political thoughts
1. If the Constitution is a ‘living breathing document’ because it has to ‘adapt’ to changing times as society progresses – then why is there an amendment process built right into it?
2. Now that we know Algore is a cheater too, will his stock go up (like Clinton) or go down (like Edwards)? Also, global warming kind of takes on a whole new meaning, doesn’t it?
3. Since the planet is actually cooling, once the greenies catch up will global cooling become the new global warming. And will the cold shoulder and icy behavior fall under EPA regulation jurisdiction for which the IRS can collect fines?
4. If Obama is a black man why does he sound like a whiney white guy?
5. If our government is by, for and of the people, why do none of our leaders seem like actual people?
6. Will Nancy Pelosi survive further cosmetic (and I use the term loosely) surgery?
7. Why is Hilary still running for president—don’t they get election results in outer Slobovia?
8. Since the government can’t even run a decent DMV, balance a budget, or speak without teleprompters, how can anyone believe 9/11 is an inside job?
9. If a person who thinks banning books, dictating what the public can eat, thinks that dumb laws make sense and can’t answer a direct question, how can anyone think he or she is a moderate?
10. Once we get rid of industry, private companies, cigarettes, cars, alcohol, junk food, churches, and the internet and we’re all getting everything from the government – who is going to pay for everything?
11. Why do Democrats speak of the evil of corporations and corporate campaign funds when they are openly supported by:
Coors Brewing Company
Ben and Jerry’s
And pretty much every news organization in America – among others
12. Why isn’t Obama’s free healthcare, free or even affordable?
13. How much longer is everything that happens on Obama’s watch going to be George W. Bush’s fault?
14. When was Nasa’s job description changed to improving relations with Muslims? And why is the head of Nasa having interviews with Al Jazeerah? Do they own outer space or something?
15. If Obama thinks America has been arrogant by making demands of other countries, why is it okay for him to make demands of Israel?
16. Why does Planned Parenthood offer services that prevent parenthood?
17. Why does an unborn American child have no rights until it takes its first breath but an illegal immigrant has rights because they broke the law?
18. Since the Democrats have had control of Congress since 2004 how everything is always the Republican’s fault?
19. Why do public servants (e.g. government workers) have the strongest union in America?
20. Why are the Dems against corporate welfare but for social welfare? Corporations pay taxes and provide jobs – individual welfare recipients do neither.
21. If diplomacy and intelligent dialogue are the solutions, why are foreign despots still pulling the same crap, if not more?
22. If we honor and respect our veterans why are we slashing their benefits?
That’s about all I have for now. Feel free to add to the list or answer any of the questions.
I wish just once I could vote for a candidate rather than voting against a candidate. The California Republican Party in its infinite wisdom has opted once again to run RINOs rather than real conservatives in the upcoming November elections. Apparently, still not learning valuable lessons from having put the Governator into office.
Make no mistake their Democrat alternatives are much worse and even the local garbage man would do a better job than Barbara Boxer and Gerry Brown can offer. I’d just really like it if I didn’t have to hold my nose while pulling the lever. I warned people about Arnold and I was right. The same warning goes out about Whitman. She is essentially Arnold in a skirt. Bummer. I guess when she gets voted in we will have to work very hard to keep her feet to the fire. At least she isn’t married to a Kennedy – I suppose that is some solace, though very little in my opinion.
The good news I suppose is that both Boxer and Brown have very public records on what they have done ‘for’ California – that alone should guarantee the public sends them packing. In fact, I’m not sure either of them have ever held a job outside of politics.
I did have to laugh at the article though – making several references to the wealth of each of these women. Had they been men, I’m not sure it would have been mentioned. And naturally, the writer failed to mention the wealth of the Dem candidates – apparently, if you are a Dem wealth, mansions, private jets, and a private security team is just a given and deserved. Since the public has foot the bill for such things maybe it is (in their world). The concept that someone may have actually worked to generate their own wealth without robbing the public appears to still be somewhat novel.
Hey Tea Party, if you’re out there, California needs help and I mean, seriously H E L P!!!
Maybe Jan Brewer can hold some seminars for Republican wannabe’s – it’s a thought.
While some rules make a lot of sense, such as not sticking your hand in an open flame or pushing playmates into ongoing traffic, other rules, not so much. I think we all make ‘rules’ knowingly or otherwise to police our conduct or conform to misguided beliefs perpetrated by others or even ourselves.
I’m big about making rules, to the point that I sometimes feel myself on the verge of exploding inexpicably. While most of them are meant to make me a better person, more often then not they just stress me out and get me nowhere such as….
1. You may not have any fun until you finish your work. Including, blogging, sleeping, reading, walking your dog, talking to friends on the phone, or anything else not classified as work.
2. You may not eat (forbidden food item) or drink (forbidden beverage) until you have lost (impossible weight loss goal). Consequently, I am only allowed diet soda, water, vitamins and carb free foods.
3. Bite your tongue and be nice. God forbid you should object when someone is firmly planting their foot up your ass, or on your back.
4. Spend as little money as possible because you can’t afford (object of my desire). Anything other than food, rent and bills is a forbidden expenditure. And you may not enjoy the fruits of your labor by buying things unless they are extremely cheap and/or purchased at a thrift or discount store.
5. If somebody offers you work, take it. No matter what. As long as it’s legal, take the work, never mind that it amounts to endentured slavery or can’t possibly cover your expenses. The economy is so bad that holding out for a job or work that can actually support you and not make you feel like a robot drone at the same time is tantamount to arrogance.
6. Go to bed at a reasonable hour so you can get up early and get things done. Despite the fact that you are biologically wired to be a night person and hate early morning you must rise with the blue jays.
7. Exercise every day. Yes, and do it while you’re working – thigh masters and tummy belts were made for you!
8. Eat right and take care of yourself. Even though your budget only allows for Kraft mac ‘n’ cheese and sugarless gum.
9. Always give people a million second chances, they don’t really mean to ruin your life. No, even while people are crapping all over you, they don’t really mean it. Their hearts are in the right place, you just know they are and someday they will know it too. Hold out until they can get in touch with their inner good person.
10. Don’t even think about a love life until you look good again. In that case, game over.
These and other rules we make for ourselves are the binds that sstrangle us. Developing a laundry list of things that we must do probably prevents us from doing all the things we could do. In the end, rules are good if they work for you, if not, throw them out and start marching to your own drummer. You may find it’s the right tune after all.
My daddy was a steeler
broke his back for every dime
Racin’ with the devil
‘fore he ran outta time
On fourteen February
he cleaned himself up good
And went lookin’ for my mama
in her new neighborhood
She run off with a salesman
who sold her that new car
And left my poor, dear daddy
a-cryin’ in the bar
He stood beneath
and felt the tears
And in that dark
and gloomy night
this is what he sung…
Be my fucking Valentine
before it is too late
I took a vow
and I’ll tell you now
You’re tempting with sweet fate
Be my fucking Valentine
and we’ll be right as rain
my heart is broke
this ain’t no joke
And I can cause you pain
Well mama slammed the window
jacked her music way up high
And sent her new paramour
to punch daddy in the eye
The salesman looked at daddy
and proved himself a whore
it only took
just one look
and he was out the door
So mama grabbed her rifle
and pointed it at Pa
but the moonlight made her stifle
for the wonderous thing she saw
A man who loved his woman
so much he was a fool
She melted right on the spot
And become a loving pool
Her heart wrung out
and she sung out…
I’ll be your fucking Valentine
no need to ask me twice
Truth be told
I’m getting old
And salesman was too nice.
Who is Christine’s fucking valentine?
(ah…yeah, when in doubt go country. 😉 WC)
It’s not enough that outrageous spending is making us sweat, now we have nan-aerobics.
Hey man, follow the link.