Spam and Affiliate Marketing

In the last couple of months I’ve been researching affiliate marketing to see if it was a viable avenue to create some passive income. I’ve learned a lot and although I probably won’t participate in any serious affiliate marketing I discovered a few tips that would help any online business improve its traffic and hopefully the bottom line.

However, another thing that I realized – let’s call it a side benefit –  is where a lot of that pesky spam comes from that we all have to deal with.

Affiliate Marketing Basics

The general idea behind affiliate marketing is that you promote someone else’s product and if someone buys the product using your link you are paid a commission.  The amount of the commission varies, depending on the product, but if you do it right and find a product that is in high demand you can make some decent income. The affiliate marketing universe has thousands upon thousands of available products to promote from gout remedies to information products – but a couple of the highest paying affiliate programs are adult products and drugs.  I guess that makes sense since drugs and sex have been money generators since the beginning of time.  For me, these two categories cover just about all the spam that I get.

Now, I’m the last person in the world who would discourage any budding entrepreneur from spreading her wings and building her empire but…if you are going to participate in affiliate marketing you should do it right. Spamming forums, blogs and other websites that are irrelevant to your market is only going to end up sending you to the spam box. Especially if you use bot programs and other methods to do massive hits to sites.

If I understand the concept correctly, you are supposed to build your site and backlinks by finding relevant forums, etc. in which to disseminate your product promotion. Spamming inappropriate sites will only piss people off and get you nowhere. I understand that those hefty commissions are very attractive and that you figure that throwing your net out in every possible direction will result in big money. But the truth is that all you are doing is counter-productive and not earning you any brownie points or commissions I would imagine.

I think the thing that stymies me is that the folks pulling this type of stunt must know that their ‘comments’ end up in the spam box and therefore they have exerted energy that will cause anyone to profit.  So why do they do it? Even in the case of abandoned blogs where spam does manage to get into the comments section aren’t likely to be read much less clicked on.  And I’m pretty sure Google isn’t giving you better rankings for spamming people so…

Please stop

I know, I know, I’m wasting my breath – I guess I just needed to vent and share my little realization. Perhaps it will make other bloggers feel better to know that spam isn’t personal – it’s just a random act of annoyance.  Still, you’d think with all the information floating around these yahoo’s would figure it out. But unfortunately any idiot with a computer and an internet connection can annoy people with impunity these days.

How about you guys – any elucidating thoughts on the source and cause of spam? LOL.

Writer Chick

copyright 2011

Ode to the Bots

 

(apologies to Simon & Garfunkel) 

Hello spamo, my old friend
I’ve come to rub you out again
Because your numbers softly creeping
Sent your bots while I was sleeping
And the garbage that was planted on my blog
really clogs
Within the bounds of comments

In cyber space I walked alone
Virtual streets of big orange cones
‘Neath the halo of my desk lamp
I turned my eyes from the crap you stamp
When my site was stabbed by a flood of a teen delight
That piqued my spite
And breached the bounds of comments

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand spamo’s, maybe more
Hackers talking without speaking
Goobers hearing without listening
Losers sending links that bloggers never share
And who’ve declared
You can’t disturb the bounds of comments

“Pigs,” said I, “You do not know
Askimet will not let the cancer grow
Read my posts that I might teach you
Take the hint so I might reach you”
But my words, like silent cowpies fell
And echoed
In the wells of splogdom.

And the losers bowed and prayed
To the porno gods they made
And the filter flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, “The words of the slimeballs are written on the bathroom walls
And loser’s balls”
And cannot enter the bounds of comments.

Schpam – the Musical

I never tire of Monty Python and their hideously stupid humor.

WC

Would You Put That Spam in a Can?

 

It used to be that Spam was just a really poor imitation of canned ham. I believe it was developed during World War II when meat was pretty scarce (as were all resources) and people were willing to give mystery meat a try. And heck somebody must have liked it cuz, you know they are still selling it today.

I think I tried it once and that was really enough – sort of like balloons with a bologna-like flavor and a might too much salt – but I have a finnicky palate. Kudos to those who can enjoy a hearty meal of Spam and eggs or Spam samiches or spam-hash. Bless you all.

However, the original Spam is not the topic of this post. Nope…

We are talking about the evil Spam. The type intended to overrun mailboxes, websites and blogs. It is junk mail gone wild. If this stuff was on paper, there would not be one tree left standing on the planet. It can be vicious, gross, mean, annoying and bizarre – but mostly, to me, it is really fucking STUPID! Yeah, stupid. I mean, come on already – do these idiots really think that we think that we just won an Irish Sweepstakes or a UK Super Lotto? Do they not know that we know that one must enter these contests in order to win? Do they really think we are as stupid as they?

They don’t even try to be smart about it. They don’t use demographics or any real marketing tools. It’s just so amazingly stupid it boggles the rational mind. For example, why send viagra ads to females? Sure maybe one or two will want to buy some for their disgusting, decrepit, alcoholic old man – but with all the marital aids on the market these days (many of which can be purchased at Amazon for cripes sake) why bother? And hot nude girl pictures also sent to women – now granted there may be a percentage of women who like that stuff but do you really think you’re hitting your niche market by sending a gajillion links to hot teen sex to a bunch of middle-aged soccer moms who blog on the side? Get real.

Here is a recent list of spam caught on my blog –

MedsMan – he is offering me honey in a lovely nonsensical comment that I supposed was designed to make me so curious I would click on his link and end up on his hideous website.

Stinky – He’s selling sex and cars or maybe it is sex with cars – didn’t really want to follow the link – know what I mean?

JohnB – This one really got me – pictures of Chlamydia AND Hot Mature Babes. Now given that Chlamydia is sexually transmitted disease I can only imagine what the pictures would look like. But really, if I want to see a disease can’t I go to the Discovery Channel or something – with Scientists and lab photos?

752njpgh – Thinks I’m a candidate for viagra.

BadGirl apparently works with Stinky since they hawk the same goods and have the same links.

451yhafft – Kindly offered me amatuer porn – now if I was into porn would I really want to see the amatuer stuff? Couldn’t I do that myself?

Kolia would like to send me some bad nude celebrity photos. Since I’ve seen plenty of bad celebrity photos I’m quite sure I don’t want to see any of them naked.

Kazbert is a GP spammer and is offering directv with a little Disney Channel shopping on the side.

Green simply claims to be a sex teacher – wow they have teachers for that now? I sure hope they don’t get any federal funding for it.

FouFoun – has some cheap airline tickets to Russia. Now I ask you, how many out there want to go to Russia under any circumstance? Cheap tickets or no, I’m gonna pass.

Mr. Carrot works with BadGirl and Stinky – cute names though, eh? Sort of like Porno stuffed animals or something.

Dertaer apparently works with FouFoun to trick people into going to Russia by giving them cheap tickets and lots of black market smokes.

Huss just dropped by to thank me for my site and tell me how much he enjoyed it. Oh sure he did.

Helga Ferg seems to be offering drugs, sex and rock and roll – I’m asking you will the Baby Boomer generation ever get off that anthem? Shouldn’t some of them be dead by now?

Hillary Ferg I’m guessing is Helga’s sisters although she is offering balloon art. Now one could wonder what kind of ‘art’ is on those balloons or maybe just take a pass altogether.

So, there they are folks, the stupid spammers who tried to put stupid spam on my blog and were caught by the spam filter. May they all end up in Spam Hell where they are forced to read their own disgusting crap 24/7 because they are permanently installed in front of a computer screen, have no eyelids and their screams can’t be heard because they are in a hermetically sealed cubicle.

WC