It’s okay if you cry

You’re feeling confused and maybe a little scared. Go ahead, cry. It’s okay. Life is overwhelming. There’s so much to do. You don’t know where to start. Even if you did know where to start, you’d second guess yourself anyway. You’d convince yourself that you were wrong and then you’d get confused all over again. So yeah, go ahead, cry. Let it out.

Everyone else is just so on top of it. They know where they’re going and why and how and they’re flying toward that goal like Icarus toward the sun. While inferior you sits on the sidelines and feels nothing but envy. That awful green stuff in your gut that makes you dizzy and nauseous. It’s not fair is it? Everybody else in the know but you’re in the dark. So really, it’s okay – cry. Cry great big buckets of giant tears. Fill the pool or the Jacuzzi with them. I understand. I really do. Let it out. Cry.

You failed. That hurts. A lot. You don’t know why you failed and that hurts more. A lot more. It’s not that you aren’t trying. You are. You’re trying so hard that your brain cells are blistered, your mind is bleeding, and your soul is circling the drain. Go ahead. Cry. It’s really okay.

Then tomorrow….

Start again.

Some People Will Beat You Down – A Word About Bullies

bullies

Despite all my years on this planet I am still shocked by how cruel some people can be. I don’t know why but I keep thinking that somehow mankind will snap out of it and people will start being kinder to each other. I’m still waiting for that to happen.

Actually, that’s not fair. Most people are really okay. Pretty good eggs, as they say. But there are some…

A few weeks ago, I was contacted by someone to do a writing project for them. We discussed the project and what he wanted done and I gave him my best advice. As it turned out, I didn’t feel he really needed to change what he had and told him so. He thanked me for my time and that was that. A couple of hours later he contacted me again and said he wanted me to re-do one aspect of the project. I agreed and gave him a quote. Then he wanted to haggle the price. I told him I didn’t haggle. Then he said okay. Then he asked if I paid the PayPal fees. At that point I should’ve just passed and suggested he go elsewhere. But I was in the midst of three other projects and knew he’d keep bugging me, so I went ahead with it.

Suffice to say that afterward we had several more email exchanges, during which he insulted me, my abilities and my worth. In all, I probably devoted about eight hours to this person, all for the incredibly high price of $50. So. Not. Worth. It.

It upset me, the things he said. The insults. But after my bruised feelings healed I realized he’d done me a favor. Because he reminded me of something that I knew but ignored.

People will beat you down. Some people will just beat you down for sport. It is in fact their purpose in life. They thrive on it. They like to make others unhappy. To feel small and insignificant. I don’t know why this is true. Did God make them differently? Perhaps. But it’s actually okay not to know why, as long as you know that they do.

They come in all shapes and sizes – don’t let the packaging fool you

I think most of us think of bullies as big, bad-breathed, butt-crack showing cretins who have “I am an asshole” tattooed on their foreheads. In fact they don’t. Often they come in very pretty or handsome packages. Sometimes they are young, sometimes old. They could be your neighbor or your Aunt Tillie. They can be a teacher, a parent, a sibling or the guy next to you with road rage. In short, they can be anybody. So you can’t know them by the way they look but you can by the way they act, for example a bully will try to convince you that:

  • Everything they do is important
  • Everything you do is meaningless
  • Their feelings matters
  • Your feelings don’t matter and you’re just being a drama queen
  • You should keep your word
  • They aren’t required to keep their promises
  • You made them feel this way, so what they do to you is your own fault

In short, a bully will do anything in their power to make you feel small, worthless, stupid, ugly, repulsive, unlovable, unlikable and useless.

Kick them to the curb

Bullies, unfortunately – at least in my experience – cannot or will not reform. If they get called on something, they may recant but it is insincere. Don’t believe them. They will only strive to get back in your good graces so that they can hammer you again. They will cry, threaten to harm themselves, even claim to have gotten religion. Don’t believe them. They only thing they want to get is you. Don’t make it possible for them to do so. Just kick them to the curb and move on. Believe me, if you do, you’ll feel much better.

Writer Chick
Copyright 2015

The Upside of Stress


I ran across this very interesting lecture about stress this weekend and thought I would share. It gave me a perspective on stress I’d have never gotten otherwise.

Here’s one gem I thought was really fascinating: Apparently believing that stress is bad for you is more damaging to your health than the actual stress. Who knew?

Given that the holidays are upon us and all the pressure, hectic days and stress that are sure to come your way because of the season to be jolly, I thought you might find this video helpful in the days ahead.

It is approximately 15 minutes long (which is like a lifetime on the Internet, I know) but I highly recommend you take the time to watch.

Writer Chick