Top Reasons You Should Belive the Recession is Over

recession is over

1. Because Katie Couric says so, as told to her by the White House. (And that sweet, albeit idiotic face would never lie.)

2. Because Chris Matthews is getting an exciting chill up his leg. (And we all know what that means.)

3. Because it makes B.O. look good, feel good and gol darn it, people like him! (Smalley’s got nothing on BO for Godsakes!)

4. Because it proves George Bush is the one who fucked things up. (We all know that Dubya is the root and cause of all evil)

5. Because the Mid-Term elections are coming up in 2010. (And there has to be some reason to keep the jokers in office.)

6. Because then you can afford to keep the credit cards, the new mortgage, pay higher taxes and pretend everything is hunky-dunky. (In other words put your head back up your ass, lest you notice what’s really going on.)

7. First health care, then the Euro-dollar. (One world order, here we come!)

8. Because facing the truth would stress you out too much. (God forbid you should face reality when you can avoid it.)

9. That means the stimulus is working. (The Federal Reserve, GM, Citibank and Joe Biden sure think so.)

10. Don’t worry, be happy. (By the time this all catches up with us, we’ll be dead and our kids, grand kids and great grand kids will be paying – not our problem, right?)

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Here it Comes!

bamacare toon

Look you guys, this is no longer about Republican/Democrat, Libbie/Pubbie, Rightwing/Leftwing – this is about our rights and the Constitution. Our government has decided that they must force us to carry health insurance and how much health insurance and and if we are not good little boys and girls then we must be punished.

If we decide to ‘disobey’ we will be punished with the help of the IRS and the Justice Department. Oh yes and the ‘fines’ start at about $250 and go up to $250,000 (you read that right) and prison terms (yes, you could go to prison if you don’t have health insurance) are from 1 to 5 years. For not obeying this bogus ‘law’ about having health insurance. At this stage I’m kind of wondering where the ‘free’ in this free health insurance comes in. I’m thinking not so much.

If you don’t believe me, check this link and this link (especially this one – it’s a letter from the committee explaining to the IRS how punishment and fines will be adjudicated if disobedience becomes a factor) from the committee forcing this bogus and unconstitutional piece of garbage through. I didn’t make this up – it’s right there.

The House has passed this and it’s going to the Senate. And if they cave, we are going to be forced, forced to obey this enslavement to the state. They are not happy enough with the fact that they can tell us when and if we can smoke, wear seat belts, pay taxes for our own property, consume water and how much, what to drive and how often we can drive and what quantity of gas we can use and if we dare say no, then label us as whackjobs or extremists – now they have to make sure that we obey this bullshit for our own good because you see we simply aren’t bright enough to take responsibility for ourselves and figure out what we need or want, and believe me the gps chip is coming soon to a neck near you.

You can sit back and think I’m paranoid and maybe scratch your heads about why I don’t want poor uninsured children to get proper healthcare, or old people or folks who just can’t make ends meet, because after all they are just trying to help, right?

Are they? Really? Let me ask you something, when you help someone, do you threaten them with pain, penalties and imprisonment if they don’t accept your help? Does any sane individual do this? I dont’ think so.

You may also think, people must want this or Congress wouldn’t be doing this. Well think again. Let’s get outside the box and consider why Congress would be pushing this bill so hot and heavy. My theory goes something like this: For decades Congress has been robbing Peter to pay Paul – they’ve been using social security and then medicare as a slush fund to pay for things – programs, bridges, roads to nowhere, you name it. Because they are Congress, they don’t have to stay on budget like the rest of us, no they just print more money and use money earmarked for something else for whatever they please and then still run a tab.

In a nutshell, they’re out of money and places to get it from. They have bankrupted Medicare and they know that’s going to be obvious very, very soon. And that would be very very bad for them – imagine the public outrage.

So, how does one solve something like this? A problem of this magnitude? Simple, you force every citizen to participate in medicare but you call it something else. Something more warm and fuzzy, national health care. You promote it as a caring, loving, benevolent act on the part of the government. They’re just looking out for you. That’s all. Then you write a bill and several versions of it that no one could possibly understand (including and especially those who are voting on it) and push it through no matter what.

You get your PR guys out there forwarding the idea that anyone who doesn’t want this incredibly caring and benevolent thing for their fellow man is a nutjob, racist, hater and mental patient and just keep repeating the message until it’s tantamount to a hypnotic command.

And soon, god-willing-and-the-creek-don’t-rise, you’ve got it all buttoned down. Once it’s through it will take an enormous effort to undo it (income tax started out as temporary folks, and shows no sign of being recinded), years, possibly decades, if ever. And then it’s done. And so are we.

The irony in all this is of course, that the very people who made this all possible by voting in our current president are the ones who will be paying for it and in a very big way – not just in dollars and cents but in the erosion of their own personal freedoms. But maybe people just have to learn the hard way. Okay, rant over. Have a nice day.

WC

PS: If you don’t believe me, perhaps a constitutional expert will give you some perspective.

The $400 Enema

maggie-pie

Yes indeed, I am the proud owner of same. No, wise guys, not for me…for my dog. It all started last weekend. My little dog Maggie is very cute and hard to say no to, so when Roomie and I were chowing down on some ribs last Saturday, I consented to give her one small rib bone.

I knew I shouldn’t have done it but those puppy eyes always get to me and she’s such a sweet little pup, I love to make her happy. So off she went and chewed and chomped to her heart’s delight.

The next day she wasn’t feeling so good and I regretted giving her the bone because she was clearly having trouble doing her business. So I massaged her belly and gave her a little vegetable oil and things seem to right themselves later in the day. And that was the end of that. Or so I thought.

A couple of days later I could see she wasn’t herself and was in distress – by Tuesday night she was having trouble walking and I became very worried. The next morning we took her to the vet for an enema. Much as I knew she wasn’t going to like it, I knew it had to be done and that she would experience relief from it, so we went.

What is it about vets that makes them want to scare the daylights out of you when it comes to your pets? Before I knew it, he had talked me into giving her xrays because God forbid there might be some maniacal, foreign object in there that could cause her to spotaneously self-combust. And three xrays no less – this dog weighs 20 pounds and fits in my lap – he needed three xrays?

So I wait  hours for them to call. Funny that he was so concerned that she needed xrays yet she sat for three hours before they could get to her to do them? Anyway, he finally calls and reports that there are no foreign objects in there but she’s pretty impacted. Hmm…now isn’t that what I said? So I told him to please do the enema. Still, he wants to explore the possibility that she has some sort of hip or back problem which is causing her not to be able to squat which is the source of the impaction. Now hip the upsell compulsion of this guy I say, ‘let’s try the simplest solution first and see where that leads, shall we?’

He finally agrees to give her the enema, then insists she’ll need some subcutaneous fluids (in my distress I didn’t realize he wasn’t really talking fluid for her system, just fluids for her skin????) and of course they’ll have to watch her and examine her poop when it comes out. Again, like a fool I say okay.

I am to pick her up between 4:30-5:00 pm. So I arrive at about twenty to five and then proceed to wait for forty minutes. Still distressed, growing more worried that something else is wrong because they aren’t just bringing her out. Finally I ask what’s taking so long and I’m told they are cleaning her up and I have to wait to talk to the doctor. I had had enough so I told them I didn’t need to the doctor and to just bring me my dog.

Okay, they agree then present me with the bill (oh yeah, since I didn’t have the money Roomie has covered the bill, which I’m to pay him back for). “Here’s  your receipt,” the receptionist says and hands it to me. Four Hundred fucking dollars? I heard myself say “What??????? Are you serious? Oh my God!!!!”

$49 for the office visit (in which he scared me to death) $186 for three xrays (3 xrays???) $68 for an enema (really? to put water up her butt, $68?) $59 for subcutaneous fluid (again fluids for her skin?) $23 for observation (if they were observing her, why did she need cleaning up before they gave her back to me? and $2 for this $5 for that, etc.

So, let me get this straight. My dog is constipated, I bring her to the vet for an enema, and she gets xrays, fluids that don’t hydrate her, a watching fee in which she doesnt get watched and so on? What should have cost about $100 ended up costing $400?

Live and learn I guess. And no, we wont’ be going back to that vet. Ever again. I understand that people have to make a living but to exploit people’s fears about their pets so you can pay for your Mercedes is just wrong. What happened to the vet who actually just cared about the animal and solving the problem at hand?

I wonder, if this free national healthcare thingie going to apply to my pets? What a world!

WC

A Peace of the Prize

bama award

Yeah, sorry, I simply couldn’t resist the urge to lampoon this historical bungle. Some funny and rather appropriate quotes:

“The whole business of a bunch of Scandinavian worthies doling out the profits of a long-gone dynamite maker’s fortune has always smacked of the worst sort of self-satisfied plutocratic worthiness. But this takes the biscuit. President Obama remains the barely man of world politics, barely a senator now barely a president, yet in the land of the Euro-weenies (copyright PJ O’Rourke) the great and the good remain in his thrall. To reward him for a blank results sheet, to inflate him when he has no achievements to his name, makes a mockery of what, let’s face it, is an already fairly discredited process (remember Rigoberta Menchu in 1992? Ha!). That’s not the point. What this does is accelerate the elevation of President Obama to a comedy confection, which he does not deserve, and gives his critics yet another bat to whack him with. Shame on the Norwegians.” –London’s Daily Telegraph chief political commentator Benedict Brogan

AND

“I can’t agree with my colleagues here on CONTENTIONS that a) Barack Obama should reject the Nobel Peace Prize or b) be embarrassed by it. The Nobel Committee chose him wisely because he does, in fact, represent the organization’s highest ideals. He is an American president queasy about the projection of American power. He is an American president who rejects the notion of American exceptionalism. He is an American president eagerly in pursuit of legitimacy to be granted him not by those who voted for him but by those who do not cast a vote and who chafe at American leadership. It is his devout wish that America become one of many nations, influencing the world indirectly or not influencing it at all, rather than “the indispensable nation,” as Madeleine Albright characterized it. He is the encapsulation, the representative, the wish fulfillment, the very embodiment, of the multilateralist impulse. He is, almost literally, a dream come true for the sorts of people who treasure and value the Nobel Peace Prize. It’s the most obvious choice, once you think about it, since Michael Moore won an Oscar for Bowling for Columbine.” –columnist John Podhoretz

So, I guess that makes it official – the Nobel Peace Prize is more about what some Euro-Weenies think somebody is going to do – that by the by aligns with their ‘enlightened’ view of how the world should be – rather than actual accomplishments. That cinches it, eh? The world is now officially become form over substance perceptive.

Hey, I have some pretty good ideas…do you think I might be up for the award next year? I could sure use some of that prize money, I need to seriously update my wardrobe. 😉

WC

Sunday Satire & Something to Think About

god bama

(from the Wall Street Journal – emphasis, mine)

You may wonder why I have such a love of posting cartoons about our current leader (and I use the term loosely) and probably think it’s because I lean conservative – however, it’s exchanges like that below that really motivate me.

“President Obama didn’t make much news on his round of five Sunday talk shows … with one notable exception. The President revealed a great deal about his philosophy of government and how he defines a tax increase. It turns out the President thinks a health-care tax is not a tax if he thinks the tax is for your own good. … Mr. Obama was asked by [ABC] host George Stephanopoulos about the ‘individual mandate.’ Under Max Baucus’s Senate bill that Mr. Obama supports, everyone would be required (required to buy? so where is the free in the free healthcare here, then?) to buy health insurance or else pay a penalty as high as $3,800 a year.

Mr. Stephanopoulos posed the obvious question about this kind of coercion when ‘the government is forcing people to spend money, fining you (fining you? so if you don’t buy the free healthcare then you are fined for not buying the free healthcare?)  if you don’t [buy insurance]. … How is that not a tax?’

‘Well, hold on a second, George,’ Mr. Obama replied. ‘Here’s what’s happening. You and I are both paying $900, on average — our families — in higher premiums because of uncompensated care. Now what I’ve said is that if you can’t afford health insurance, you certainly shouldn’t be punished for that. That’s just piling on. If, on the other hand, we’re giving tax credits, we’ve set up an exchange, you are now part of a big pool, we’ve driven down the costs, we’ve done everything we can and you actually can afford health insurance, but you’ve just decided, you know what, I want to take my chances. And then you get hit by a bus and you and I have to pay for the emergency room care, that’s…’ (excuse me, but aren’t these the guys who mandated that anyone who goes into an emergency room in America must be treated, regardless of insurance, national origin or ability to pay? if we are paying for the guy who got hit by a bus, then it’s your party, bub, who brought that about in the first place!)

‘That may be,’ Mr. Stephanopoulos responded, ‘but it’s still a tax increase.’ (In fact, uncompensated care accounts for about only 2.2% of national health spending today, but that’s another subject.)

Mr. Obama: ‘No. That’s not true, George. The — for us to say that you’ve got to take a responsibility to get health insurance is absolutely not a tax increase. What it’s saying is, is that we’re not going to have other people carrying your burdens for you anymore (really, mr. prez? and so all that bailout money, the bah-trillion dollar deficit and your new programs isn’t other people carrying someone else’s burden? how do you figure?) …’ In other words, like parents talking to their children, this levy — don’t call it a tax — is for your own good (gee, i’m so glad you came along to make me do things for my own good because well shit, i’ve been doing it all wrong for all these years) . … Mr. Obama complains that ‘My critics say everything is a tax increase,’ as if that is his political problem. His real problem is that the individual mandate really is a tax, but the President doesn’t want voters to think of it that way, because taxes are unpopular.”

bamacare chart

So, there you have it – a tax that isn’t a tax. A president who is only making us do what is best for us because clearly we can’t determine that for ourselves. And a man who simply cannot tolerate criticism of any kind. Welcome to the free fucking world, folks.

WC

Actions Speak Louder

cowboybama

“We can’t drive our SUVs, and eat whatever we want, and keep our homes at 72 [degrees] all the time, whether we live in the desert or the tundra, and keep consuming 25% of the world’s resources with just 4% of the world’s population… That’s not going to happen.” Barack Obama

 

Yes, those are the words of our current president and yet….

bamacheesesteak

smokingbama 

And I have to wonder…who is paying for his smokes? Do you think if he had to $8 a pack  himself he might be wondering if his personal freedoms had been tromped on? I’m just saying…

Bama in a Box

bamainthebox

“If we can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people, under the pretense of taking care of them, they must become happy.” –Thomas Jefferson

It seems that our new president’s efforts to socialize the country and make us the loyal followers of same may have begun to turn the tide. While on the campaign trail, he promised transparency, no increase in taxes, free healthcare, a cleaner environment and apparently a chicken in every pot.

Well, it looks like not only is the public not buying it and perhaps having a bit of buyer’s remorse – even the rank and file are starting to bristle. Five months into his term and two dozen bills signed and hope and change ain’t sounding quite so appetising anymore.

Although, what did we expect from a man who was completely unqualified to do the job? Miracles? I have a feeling the Potomac isn’t going to be parting any time soon.

Hell, even Bill Mahr thinks Obama should be a little more like Bush.

bush-ranch

And a little less like him:

bama-curtains

“We have the greatest opportunity the world has ever seen, as long as we remain honest — which will be as long as we can keep the attention of our people alive. If they once become inattentive to public affairs, you and I, and Congress and Assemblies, judges and governors would all become wolves.” — Thomas Jefferson

Perhaps ol’ Thom Jefferson was onto something? Could be.

Is Brown the New Green?

I’ve been meaning to bring this up for a while. Sometime back I heard one of the incessant and ever present commercials you hear in California these days – about water shortages. A theme that I always find ironic, since we have thousands of miles of coastline with raging water right there. It’s drought season. Oh yeah, that’s right we have to get all vaklemped because we didn’t get enough rain. The ironic thing is that when we have lots of rain, far beyond our ‘normal’ annual rainfall, they are always very quick to point out that this in no way cancels any drought deficits we have built up – despite the fact that several people’s houses are sliding down hills right past their windows. Oh no, we must never admit that we actually have an abundance of anything – if we did, then how the heck would we scare the bageebers out of the general populace? And if we couldn’t do that, how the heck are we going to control them? Anyway, as usual, I digress.

So, I’m listening to this commercial going on about how we must, must, must conserve on water because now that is in short supply (despite the fact that we get most of our water from the Colorado river, eh?) and how we must refrain from watering plants, lawns and other unnecessary green items, so we won’t all die from dehydration or something. And besides, how will we water all those plants growing on the side of the freeways if we actually water our own plants and lawns?

But it got me thinking…don’t you see the irony here? I mean, the whole thrust is that we want to go more green, right? All over the country and perhaps the world, we are hearing about how the trees are all being chopped down and that is going to rip an even bigger hole in the ozone layer (btw, I heard that is actually repairing itself, who knew?) so, yes, let’s plant a lot of trees and get that oxygen level up folks – but ooops, I think trees actually need water in order to grow. In fact, all plants need more water to grow. So if you pull out your lawn and put down concrete, in order to save water, aren’t you contributing to higher ambient temps? Plants and greenery do not conduct heat, so they actually contribute to cooling ambient temps – also they produce water as well, right? Concrete, not so much. See my dilemma here?

So how in the hell does either letting your lawn/plants go to a dry mass of brown contribute to helping to ‘stop global warming’? The answer is it doesn’t. And the truth is, IMHO is that it is not about conservation, preventing global warming or any of that – it is just about control. Apparently we are all so stupid that if anybody throws in the term global warming that we, like Pavlov’s dogs will react and do what we are told. We will not use our own common sense, we will simply believe that we must do our part in battling the impending doom of the planet drying up like a 70 year old virgin. My ass.

And what are we saving the water for? Some guy who fifty years from now is going to be thirsty? I think not. Seriously, if you told a farmer or a gardener that the way to have plants in the future would be to save all their seeds or use as few of them as possible they’d hit you over the head with a rake or tractor or something. Life begets life. Death begets death. If we have to kill the very things that supposedly sustain life on this planet, in order to have a more sound planet and a better quality of life, then sorry I’m just not down with that. Are you? It’s just too stupid for words.

Multiple Blog Personality Syndrome?

I was just chatting with my friend J and she mentioned to me that she has several blogs she’s working on. Which I found interesting. It seems she’s looking for her true blogger voice and honestly, I can relate to that. I have four blogs myself and am constantly wondering if I should start another one. Yeah, crazy, huh?

But here’s the thing – I don’t just have one passion – I have lots of them. And also I’m the kind of person who can get bored easily. I actually envy those bloggers out there who just have the one passion and can write about it endlessly without breaking a sweat. That they can burrow into every nook and cranny of it and get in there deep. All the big blogger dudes and dudettes advise this – pick a niche, pick the one thing you are most passionate about, get a following, gain an audience, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, it’s good advice but not always the right advice I don’t think.

Some days I want to write nothing but political/social commentary – I’ve got a bee up my ass and it’s buzzing it’s brains out and I’ll explode if I don’t rant for a good long time about it. The next day I may have a case of the giggles and I’ll spend hours looking for funny shit like this (and you really have to click on this – seriously, it will make you laugh). The next day I might feel reflective about the meaning of life or my life or somebody’s life and want to write about that. So, why can’t I? Why can’t one blog cover all the many facets of me or any blogger for that matter?

I know that I and my friend J, are not the only ones afflicted with MBPS because several of my blogger buddies have multiple blogs and continue to start new ones. Maybe they have multi-faceted lives too. True, if they’d just done a blog about hot dogs they might be getting a book deal like that stupid-ass cat site or that other stupid ass white people blog or any number of the stupid ass, one-note popular blogs – they’d be raking in the dough too. Though how that translates into that, I’m really not sure but apparently it does because all the experts say so. And God forbid we should disagree with the experts.

I mean, we’re people for cripes sakes – not wordpress themes – why must we have a theme or a niche or a thang? Why can’t we change our colors, our words, our observations on a whim. Aren’t the best actors, singers, dancers, writers the ones who constantly challenge themselves and reinvent themselves to stretch into new horizons? Bloggers should have the same freedom –

So, I now proudly wear my Multiple Blogger Personality Syndrome badge proudly. If it’s good enough for Forest Gump’s mama then I guess it’s good enough for me. Blogs are like a box of chocolates, you just never know what you’re gonna get.

Anybody else out there with the syndrome? Hey, anybody wanna make a banner for me? Huh, huh, huh? Puleeze? Purty Puleeze! 🙂