Fun with Christmas Parodies

I was listening to Mark Levin the other day and he played this song, saying it was his favorite Christmas song. It’s hilarious! Be careful though you may find yourself singing it as the mall pipes in its xmas muzak.

Forgiveness

 

 

There is an old adage that says, ‘to err is human, to forgive, divine.’ I have to be honest that I never truly understood those words in any profound way. My logical mind explained it to me, but my heart wasn’t buying it.

How can you forgive someone who has truly hurt you? Still, advice abounds about the benefit of forgiveness. Not just for the trespasser but for the trespassed. The benefits for the tresspasser are obvious I think but for the trespassed perhaps a little harder to see. When you are looking at something from the inside out, it is hard to see clearly and all those bad feelings obscure the vision even more. You may even want to forgive but just trying to get past the hurt feelings are the challenge of the century.

Admittedly, this is where I hang up. Not so much in the fact of what happened so much as why did it happen? Why did that person do that? Why did they say that? Why did I deserve that? What did I do? You see, how very tangled it can get and quickly too.

Now, often after time has passed and the hurt is either healed, faded or just plain gone it might be easier to see things. Have some perspective, I know that’s certainly true for me. But there are some instances where the need to know why just doesn’t go away. Not knowing seems to just perpetuate the whole vicious cycle. But of late, I’ve started to think that maybe there just isn’t a why. At least not one that would impart any profound understanding. Maybe the reason is simply – because. Because it was just what came out at the time. Because that person is just that way. Or any number of truly insignificant because reasons. And I’ve even begun (in my case) to think that in the majority of cases it probably had little to do with me, that it wasn’t so much personal as it was just the way that person is.

That’s another thing. I don’t know about you but I sometimes have a hard time accepting that people really just who they seem to be. Perhaps it is because I am a writer or a romantic optimist but I tend to imbue people with traits and qualities they probably don’t have. Then I get disappointed when I discover that they really don’t have them. Does that make sense? As another old saying goes, ‘a tiger can’t change his stripes’…or something like that.

Anyway…I have decided that I forgive everybody for everything. Every real or imagined slight or upset. Every hurtful word or action, again, real or imagined. I don’t want to lug any more grudges along with me, it’s hard on my back and so very exhausting. And believe me I know that just saying it doesn’t make it so. You have to mean it and you have to believe it and I know that will take some work. But I am determined to let go of whatever bad feelings I have whether justified or unjustified – I guess it will be my new project, maybe for the year or the next few months or weeks. I will do all that I can to forgive and let go. To recapture that energy and do something good and positive with it. And it will be my Christmas gift to myself. The gift of peace of mind and an open heart.

We all have so much to feel bad about these days and it would be so very easy to roll with it. We don’t have enough money or work, enough love or understanding, enough time or patience. Our government, our bosses, our families are driving us crazy and have you seen the price of gas? What are we to do? Forgive. Forgive them all. Let it go. Easier said than done but just imagine if you could stop having to feel resentful, angry and hurt how good that would feel. And what wonderful things might just show up in your life if all that bad energy was magically transformed into good energy? Imagine. Imagine it and let go, little by little. I know I will.

WC

copyright 2010

The New 12 Days of Christmas

Hey everybody, given current events I just couldn’t help but do a Christmas parody.  And now, the new and improved 12 Days of Christmas…

On the first day of Christmas,
my government sent to me
A tax hike with a green fee.

On the second day of Christmas,
my government sent to me
Two bailout plans,
And a tax hike with a green fee.

On the third day of Christmas,
my government sent to me
Three pat downs,
Two bail out plans,
And a tax hike with a green fee.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
my government sent to me
Four fast-food laws,
Three pat downs,
Two bail out plans,
And a tax hike with a green fee.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
my government sent to me
Five naked body scannings,
Four fast-food laws,
Three pat downs,
Two bail out plans,
And a tax hike with a green fee.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
my government sent to me
Six Dems a-squawking,
Five naked body scannings,
Four fast-food laws,
Three pat downs,
Two bail out plans,
And a tax hike with a green fee.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
my government sent to me
Seven czars a-czarring,
Six Dems a-squawking,
Five naked body scannings,
Four fast-food laws,
Three pat downs,
Two bail out plans,
And a tax hike with a green fee.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
my government sent to me
An eight dollar rebate,
Seven czars a-czarring,
Six Dems a-squawking,
Five naked body scannings,
Four fast-food laws,
Three pat downs,
Two bail out plans,
And a tax hike with a green fee.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
my government sent to me
Nine website shutdowns,
An eight dollar rebate,
Seven czars a-czarring,
Six Dems a-squawking,
Five naked body scannings,
Four fast-food laws,
Three pat downs,
Two bail out plans,
And a tax hike with a green fee.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
my government sent to me
Ten Wiki leakings,
Nine website shutdowns,
An eight dollar rebate,
Seven czars a-czarring,
Six Dems a-squawking,
Five naked body scannings,
Four fast-food laws,
Three pat downs,
Two bail out plans,
And a tax hike with a green fee.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my government sent to me
Eleven cameras spying,
Ten Wiki leakings,
Nine website shutdowns,
An eight dollar rebate,
Seven czars a-czarring,
Six Dems a-squawking,
Five naked body scannings,
Four fast-food laws,
Three pat downs,
Two bail out plans,
And a tax hike with a green fee.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my government sent to me
Twelve numbing speeches,
Eleven cameras spying,
Ten Wiki leakings,
Nine website shutdowns,
An eight dollar rebate,
Seven czars a-czarring,
Six Dems a-squawking,
Five naked body scannings,
Four fast-food laws,
Three pat downs,
Two bail out plans,
And a tax hike with a green fee.

As usual feel free to add verses and if you drink spiked eggnog whilst singing, it really sounds so much better.

WC

copyright 2010

You Might be a Christmas Addict if…


I don’t know about you but I am in love with Christmas. While others may complain about crowded stores and parking lots, I rise to the challenge. And though some may have a hard time deciding on what to give as gifts, my mind starts racing with a list as early as August. I love everything about it, from Christmas trees to Christmas music. I admit it, I am a Christmas addict and I am not the least bit interested in joining any twelve step program to break the addiction.

How do you know who is a Christmas addict? Well there are several signs that can clue you in that you or a loved one is a Christmas addict which I am willing to share. You might be a Christmas addict if…

1. You think naming your first child Rudolph is an inspired idea.
2. Every year you scope consignment shops, shopping malls and thrift stores for more ornaments.
3. Tears come to your eyes the first time you plug in the Christmas tree.
4. You dream of how you’re going to decorate your house starting in July.
5. You can’t sing White Christmas without getting choked up.
6. You suddenly love everybody.
7. Your idea of a good meal is butter cookies, milk and candy canes.
8. You get your car retrofitted to look like a sleigh.
9. You get your chimney cleaned so Santa won’t get sooty.
10. You wear red every day in December.
11. You have to buy your Christmas tree on Thanksgiving weekend.
12. You’re disappointed if you don’t have lots of people on your Christmas list.
13. You have a Christmas movie marathon starting on Thanksgiving night.
14. You watch every movie you can get your hands on that is about Christmas – even the bad ones.
15. You search the internet for weird Christmas facts, food, videos and games.
16. You think elves are cuter than puppy dogs and kittens.
17. You prefer eggnog over coffee in the morning.
18. You own a Santa hat, reindeer ears and Christmas tree earrings.
19. You bake brownies, cookies and other treats for total strangers.
20. Rocking Around the Christmas Tree makes you want to dance.
21. You say Merry Christmas to everyone, even people who cut you off in traffic.
22. You love dressing up your pets in Christmas outfits.

I could actually go on and on but you get the idea. What about you? What makes you a Christmas addict? Or are you the bah humbug type who delights in messing with Christmas addicts’ minds? As usual, feel free to add to the list.

WC
copyright 2010

Yummy Christmas Food

 

If you’ve ever celebrated Christmas you know how good food can taste.  Here’s a little bit of a different recipe (for me anyway) to consider for Christmas dinner or a holiday bash.

French Canadian Trifle

FOR THE CUSTARD:
4 tbsp. sugar
2 tbsp. cornstarch
2 egg yolks
2 cups milk
1 tsp. vanilla extract

FOR THE TRIFLE:
1  8” x  4” pound cake or sponge cake
2-4 tbsp. marsala, rum, or brandy
1 cup strawberry jam
2 cups fresh raspberries
1 1/2 cups heavy cream
1 tbsp. sugar

1. For the custard: Mix together sugar and cornstarch in a large saucepan. Add egg yolks, and whisk to combine; then gradually whisk in milk. Cook over medium-low heat, stirring constantly, until custard thickens to the consistency of thick cream, about 25 minutes. Transfer to a large bowl, and add vanilla. Cover surface of custard with plastic wrap to prevent a skin from forming, and refrigerate until completely chilled, about 2 hours.

2. For the trifle: Cut cake into 2” X 1” pieces. Arrange a layer of cake pieces in the bottom of a large trifle or glass bowl. Sprinkle cake with some of the marsala; then spread a layer of strawberry jam over the cake; then scatter some of the raspberries over the jam. Pour some of the custard over the berries.
Repeat layering, ending with custard. Cover with plastic wrap, and refrigerate for at least 3 hours. Remove trifle from refrigerator about 1 hour before serving.

3. Just before serving, put heavy cream and sugar into a large, well-chilled mixing bowl. Beat cream with a whisk or an electric mixer fitted with whisks until cream holds soft peaks. Do not overbeat. Decorate trifle with large dollops of whipped cream.

 

Wow, I think I gained 5 pounds just reading the recipe.

WC

 

More Little Known Christmas Facts…

Since these little lists are popular this time of year, I managed to dig up more Christmas trivia which may help you in your next holiday game of charades.

  1. Christmas clubs came into existence circa 1905 which were special savings accounts in which people deposited a set amount of money regularly and to be used for Christmas gift shopping. (Hmm, sounds like Social Security to me)
  2. In early England, a  traditional Christmas dinner was a pig head prepared with mustard. (I wonder if that’s where the term pig-headed came from)
  3. A 1995 survey found that 7 out of 10 British dogs get Christmas gifts from their  owners. (Something tells me that Americans are probably right up there with this)
  4. The first state to recognize Christmas as an official holiday was Alabama, which  began in 1836. (Gotta love them southerners)
  5. Contrary to popular opinion, Black Friday (the Friday after Thanksgiving) is not the busiest shopping day of the year. Black Friday actually ranks 5th to 10th on the busiest day list.  Typically, the Friday and Saturday before Christmas are the two busiest shopping days of the year. (Kinds makes those camping shoppers outside of WalMart look pretty silly, huh?)
  6. American billionaire Ross Perot tried to airlift 28 tons of medicine and Christmas gifts to American POW’s in North Vietnam in 1969. (No wonder he looks so elfin)
  7. What do Little Larry, Puny Pete, and Small Sam have to do with Charles Dickens? Well they are the names he considered using for Bob Cratchett’s disabled son before he came up with Tiny Tim. (I can only imagine his rejects for Scrooge)
  8. Good news for all you greenies out there. Christmas trees are edible. Parts of pines, spruces, and firs can be eaten. The needles are a good source of vitamin C. Pine nuts, or pine cones, are also a good source of nutrition. (Though you probably don’t want to eat the ornaments)
  9. Ever wonder why merchants get that Christmas merchandise out so early in the year? Well, during World War II it was necessary for Americans to mail Christmas gifts early for the troops in Europe so they would receive them in time. Merchants joined in the effort to remind the public to shop and mail early and voila a commercial tradition was born.
  10. Another nice tidbit for the greenies – For every real Christmas tree harvested, 2 to 3 seedlings are planted in its place. (And too, most Christmas trees are grown on Christmas tree farms, not removed from the forest.)
  11. The largest living Christmas tree in the world is over 160 feet tall and you can check it out here.
  12. Ever wondered what figgy pudding is?  I have. You can get the history and the recipe here.

Otay, that’s all the whacky Christmas facts I have for the moment, but stay tuned you never know when some other whacky thing will surface.

WC

What’s your Christmas personality?

 

Well my Christmas personality is:

Spirit of the Festivities

Whether it’s stringing cranberries, decorating the tree, or singing Christmas carols, you are in the spirit of Christmas. You aren’t greedy. Even if you’re not religious. Christmas is a great holiday for you.

What’s your Christmas personality? Take the quiz here