Changing of the Guard…???

In just a few short hours we will swear in a new president. To many, he represents hope and change – or perhaps it is just the hope of change. But I wonder, will any change do?

I know that too, there are many out there who will heave a collective sigh of relief when our current president returns to private life after passing the torch to his successor. And with him (some believe) a whole litany of problems, mistakes, missteps, bad moves, poor decisions and (at best) misguided strategies, with him back to the ranch. As well as runaway spending, insurmountable national debt that our children and grandchildren will inherit, bail outs and I suppose pretty much everything that is wrong with this country.

We are making history here – the first black president (well, half-black and wasn’t Bill Clinton the first one?) and apparently by virtue of that fact alone, our country and the world opinion of same will miraculously reverse and once again, the streets of America will be paved with gold.

Well…actually…not so fast, bub. According to the new administration’s plan, we will in fact, be giving more bail outs to other victims because conventional wisdom dictates that you can’t bail out one without bailing out the rest. 600,000 new jobs sounds impressive until you realize that that translates into 600,000 more government employees to interfer in your life and with your personal liberties while you kindly pay their mortgages and automatic pay raises with your tax dollars. Then too, while GW Bush will get no praise or pass from me for the deficits run up during his two terms, at least he never exceded 4% of the GNP (Gross National Product) whereas the new President Obama’s plan is estimated to be more like 15% of the GNP. The deficit will just continue to rack up into the trillions of dollars, folks. Perhaps the hope part of this scenario is more about the hope that we the taxpayers will be able to keep at least some of our paychecks?

Hillary Clinton is going to rehabilitate our tarnished reputation abroad with her mad diplomatic skilz and the new Treasury Secretary only owes a mere $40,000 in back taxes – although since he’ll be the one overseeing the IRS, I’m sure he’ll be able to work out a good payment plan for himself.

I could go on but I’m sure you get the picture. Though what you may not realize is that this post is not really about Bush or Obama, or liberal or conservative – it’s really about the status quo. What I’m trying to point out is that despite all the campaining and debating and electing and so forth that by and large there just really isn’t that much difference between politicians and parties. That no matter what they tell you or promise you they are going to continue doing what politicians do: harness more and more money and power. Largely gaining that power with your money (not theirs) while you happily surrender it and your personal freedoms because of a promise they will never keep.

So my friends, before we get all excited about the new face and the new look in the White House let’s face the fact that aside from appearances nothing is really going to change.

Why Hillary Won’t Get My Vote

The 08 elections aren’t too far off and the campaigning will really wind up once Labor Day weekend hits, so I’ve been thinking politics lately. Not the day to day stuff, sometimes I can’t keep up and frankly, sometimes, it’s just too much. But I do like speculate and look at the landscape sometimes.

I’ve made no secret that I’m not a Hillary fan and have gotten in my cracks about her with the occasional post – but this time I want to spell out why I feel as I do. Don’t worry, it won’t be too political. And really some of my reasons may surprise.

The reasons (incomplete and in no particular order) why Hillary won’t get my vote:

1. Mean eyes. It’s one of those things that can’t be covered up with makeup or false smiles, photo lenses or filters. Even when she smiles, her eyes don’t. I could never trust someone who had mean eyes.

2. Hillary-care. A behind-closed-doors health plan with the 1st Lady as its architecht? It was so bad, apparently, that even her cronies couldn’t vote for it. And it was the first attempt (of thousands) on her part to be the President of the United States without having been elected. A blatant attempt to use her husband’s power to serve her own ends.

3. No sense of humor. Even when she tries to make a joke it’s forced and usually denigrates someone. People who cannot laugh at themselves have serious problems in my estimation. Too much ego to ever have any humility and probably feels they are incapable of making a mistake.

4. Doesn’t believe in anything (no real position on any issue). Aside from (obviously) wanting to run the free world, the woman is without purpose and position. Like her husband, her position on issues change with each new audience and demographic. Everything is surveyed and polled in order to determine what position should be taken. This means there is an utter lack of conviction in anything she says. She is apparently for everything and against everything equally.

5. She cheated. A resident of Arkansas one day, then after getting a multi-million dollar advance on a tell-all book (which apparently didn’t tell all), a purchase of a multimillion dollar home and voila, she was a New Yorker. So she could run for a Senate seat that was vacating. How does that classify her as representative of the people of New York?

6. She lied. About many things – but in particular, when she ran for re-election of above mentioned Senate seat, she said she would serve her full term. That she had no intention of seeking any other office during her term as Senator. Yet, somehow she is considered the front-runner for the Democrat party. Eh? I could spend a lot of time and space on this point, but I’d need a whole blog to do so and there are others out there who do it much better than I, so I’ll leave it at that.

7. The Two-fer. During Bill Clinton’s campaign, there were countless interviews, wherein they discussed their ‘co-presidency’ and how America would be getting two-for-the-price-of-one. In my mind, junk is still junk, no matter what you paid for it.

8. The Vast Rightwing Conspiracy. While I’ve no doubt that there are millions of conspiracies where politicians are concerned, this was merely a well-orchestrated ploy to take the heat off of her and Bill during the whole Monica-gate, perjury-gate, impeachment-gate fiasco. And the general incompetency of the Clinton presidency. Yet another attempt to blame others for a mess wholly and completely created by them.

9. Righteous Indignation. First of all, few people can carry this off and those who can, use it sparingly. That aside, this woman has no moral highground (at least as far as I could ever see, read or find out about) from which to pontificate. She criticizes the president for going to war, yet she voted to go to war (as did 98 out of 100 fellow Senators) then changes it up by saying he isn’t executing it wrongly. This, from a woman who has no military background whatsoever and whose husband did all he could to dismantle same. And whose largest accomplishment with the Department of Defense was to enact the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy. Exactly, what knowledge, experience, understanding and expertise is she employing in making such a declaration?

10. She cares about no one. I dare anyone out there to find any truly selfless or caring act on her part. Without there being a ulterior motive for the action. And I mean acts not words. Words mean nothing if they aren’t backed up by actions.

11. Makes no difference. She has virtually made no difference or improvement in conditions in this country during her Senatorship. While it’s true that that could be said about many politicians – I’m talking about someone who wants to run the free world. Hell, even Teddy Kennedy tries to do something and authors bills that at least somehow agree with his rhetoric. If you don’t believe me, look it up. Look up how many bills she has actually authored. How many solutions she has actually tried or succeeded in implementing of her own origination.

12. No imagination or vision. We all know she wants to be the next President, but why?What vision does she have for the future of the country? What imagination has she ever demonstrated beyond envisioning herself in the Oval Office? In my mind, the great ones (and even some of the not so great ones) all had a vision. Ronald Regan envisioned a shining city on the hill, for example. What is her vision? Free healthcare for everybody? Nothing’s free, someone will have to pay for it. Don’t you think it’s going to be you and me? No involvement in Iraq and withdrawal of the troops? Is that a vision or a catastrophe waiting to happen?

13. No skill. Aside from talking a pretty good game and having lots of black pantsuits what skill does she bring to anything? She’s already said she isn’t Suzie Homemaker, she doesn’t cook, doesn’t seem to have any interest in children, education, the environment, etc. She just wants everything to be free for everybody except for those who have to pay for it. She hasn’t worked a job since the Rose Law Firm about 20 years ago – she and Bill have been living off the taxpayer for decades. She can’t dance, tell a joke decently or put people at ease. She can’t write, both her books were written by ghostwriters. She can’t even do her own hair and makeup (don’t believe me? look at some early pictures of Hillary).

14. Has no self-respect. While the woman has an ego bigger than the great outdoors, the woman has no respect for herself. She has remained married to a man who has continuously, openly and publically cheated on her. Why? You have to ask yourself what self-respecting individual would remain married to a cheating, lying, unrepentent spouse? The answer – power. She is willing to give up her integrity and self respect for power. To me, not a good reason and one which will cause heartache to the nth degree.

Okay, those are my reasons why I would never vote for Hillary and I suppose an explanation of sorts of why I find her nauseating. Nope, she’ll never get my vote. Will she get yours?

WC

Update:

Apparently, someone has pasted this post into a myspace page where Hillary Clinton supporters go. As flattering as that is in a way, if anyone is using my content, without my consent, I insist it be removed. Several bloggers have linked to this post, properly, and I have no problem with that – but I do have a problem with bloggers who feel they’ve a right to go sneaky and underhanded and to use my content for their own purposes. If you have any information regarding has done this, please contact me.

Thanks,

WC

Zelda for President!

 

I don’t know about you but I’ve been looking over the candidate lists of likely runners for the White House in 2008 and I’m simply not impressed.

It seems with the Democrats that it’s going to come down to Hillary and Barak. Of course, there are the usual second string of snoozers, Kerry, Dodd, Edwards, Algore, Biden and so on. The ones that just have to keep trying and never seem to get there – usually because they tend to eat both of their feet at the same time.

Not really sure what’s up with the Republicans – there is no clear front runner. McCain is the Republican version of Gore, always running and never winning and a sore loser. Rudy is too middle of the road. Tancredo is interesting but probably won’t get enough traction because of his immigration stance. Pataki ain’t nothing to write home about. The two who strike me as interesting are Fred Thompson and Newt Gingrinch. Fred because he has that easy going southern man thing going and seems to be a true conservative. Newt because, well he’s Newt. Certainly as polarizing as Hillary and the idea of the two of them duking it out sends me into absolute glee.

That being said – it bores me. I want a real candidate, just once in my lifetime. Not a politician, not spinmeister, no a liar or a dancer or a campaigner – but somebody real. Know what I mean?

Therefore, I have a new candidate to offer. Sure, she doesn’t have a chance in Hell but this is my blog and it’s filled with all my other fantasies, so why not this one?

I give you Zelda. And who is Zelda, you may be asking?  Obviously, she’s my friend. She’s funny in a goofy, absent-minded sort of way. And she doesn’t suffer fools gladly. Good start, don’t you think? She’s, self-sufficient, can drive any vehicle known to man, has all her survivalist gear (for the ultimate Armageadon) in place and ready to roll when the time comes, has a big-ass Blazer which she calls Chomp, is very smart, logical, has a buttload of common sense and makes her living telling other people what to do. And they pay her a lot of money to do so.

What kind of platform will she run on? Why CHANGE of course. Change is the buzzword of the new millenium and we (of course, I’d be her campaign manager, right?) intend to take advantage of change for all it’s worth. Change what? Why everything of course. Once upon a time politicians promised a ‘chicken in every pot’ (I think this was during a time when people were living on spam and white bread), Zelda will:

1. promise to take all the chicken-shits and put them in a pot.

2. She’ll get rid of the IRS in favor of a National Sales Tax – sure a lot of useless government workers will be thrown out of work and nobody will be able to milk the tax issue anymore, but we like to live dangerously.

3. Public Schools will become a thing of the past. Property owners will no longer finance schools that act as babysitters and teach children nothing but how to waste time. School will be voluntary and only those who want to learn will be allowed to go to school. People who want their children to go to school will have to pay for it, but since they will only be paying consumption tax, they will have a lot more disposable income and besides their kids will actually be learning something, so it’s a win-win situation.

4. Stupid people will be forced to work at places like McDonald’s, Burger King and El Pollo Loco. They will not be paid minimum wage because there will be no such thing. They will be paid whatever said businesses feel they are worth. Which should result in a surge of young people wanting to learn and return to school so they can get jobs that actually pay them enough to live on.

5. People who are afraid to drive will have to walk, take busses, cabs or get rides from friends. The morning and evening rush hours will become a thing of the past. Which will result in fewer accidents and lower insurance rates.

6. Newspapers and news outlets will be held to the truth. They will be fined for every falsehood they publish, promote or forward. Consequently, there will be fewer newspapers and news outlets and people will be thrown out of work. Which is okay, because there are plenty of positions open in the Circus and Gameshow industries.

7. All road construction will be done at night, when there is no traffic and the work can be done quickly and efficiently.

8. Government workers will no longer have a union. They will work as public servants. They will not get cost of living raises, free medical, mandatory benefits, or free passes on performance. They will be fireable if they are incompetent at their jobs. They will not be able to take the case to the Supreme Court or the ACLU. If they suck, they are out.

9. Doctors will be allowed to practice medicine.

10. Cops will be able to do their jobs.

11. The southern border will no longer require border guards or fences. Instead, a canal will be constructed and filled with pirhannas, sharks, giant squid and other scary creatures. Anyone who manages to cross it will automatically have earned citizenship and we’ll call it the Lotto.

12. Congress will actually be required to attend sessions and if they don’t attend said sessions and voting periods they will be docked accordingly.

13. Congress will be required to submit a balanced budget and if they don’t they will be docked accordingly.

14. Members of Congress will not be allowed to act stupidly in public – if they do, they will be docked accordingly.

15. Hot dogs will no longer list, mouse ears, pig snout and cockroach legs as ingredients.

16. The government will no longer bail any private industry out of trouble. This may result in fewer banks, airlines, railroads, NPR, museums, utility companies, phone companies, etc. But the ones that remain will be solvent and likely far more popular.

17. Supreme Court Justices will be required to remain awake during all sessions and if they don’t will be docked accordingly.

18. Animal cruelty will still be against the law, however, animals will not get the right to vote.

19. Hypocrites will be fined and ordered to rehab until they have only one face and no longer speak out of both sides of their mouths.

20. Anyone who takes a hair dryer into a shower with them and turns it on, will be on their own and financially responsible for any damage caused.

So there you have it, Zelda’s platform. Any questions?

WC

My Kind of Teddy

“I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do!. That is character.”

– Theodore Roosevelt

(Known both for his larger-than-life personality and his many achievements, Theodore Roosevelt was the youngest US president at age 42. He was born in 1858 in New York. He led the Rough Riders, a motley volunteer cavalry, to victory in the battle of San Juan Hill. As the “Trust Buster” president, he instigated some 40 lawsuits to break up monopolies. An ardent conservationist, he put 230 million acres under federal protection. The Panama Canal was begun under Roosevelt. He died in 1919.)

That Teddy was my kind of guy. Course today in this politically correct world, they’d probably destroy him. Thank God, he was around when it was okay for men to men and for leaders to lead. God bless his soul.

WC

Writer Chick Predicts…

You know when I was a kid I used to love to read or hear about all the crazy, whacko predictions the psychics of the day would make about the coming year. What was really hilarious was how they would (later) try so hard to make the facts of something somehow mold into a prediction they’d made.

So in the spirit of that – I, Writer Chick, shall also make a few predictions sure not to come true – and if any do, it will be purely accidental.

I predict that in 2007:

1. Fat people will be outlawed in NYC and if apprehended with a box of oreos, booked for possession of trans-fats.
2. Teddy Kennedy will become the new spokesperson for Jenny Craig (maybe Kirstie will lend him her old body shapers?).
3. Global warming will cause hot, fresh pizzas to rain from the skys during hurricanes that rail for 30 minutes or less.
4. Britney Spears will create her own underwear line called Now you see it – Now you don’t.
5. In a tell-all book, Madonna will reveal her favorite moisturizer is embalming fluid.
6. Al Gore will invent a hybrid vehicle that runs on gas and electricity and call it the Priestess.
7. The ACLU will file a class action lawsuit against the State of Texas in behalf of beef cows, citing slavery and wrongful death as key points.
8. Apple will unveil its latest innovation, the BlogPod.
9. Stem cell researchers will successfully replicate a conscience and offer it to Hillary Clinton for beta testing.
10. Arnold Schwartzeneger will ‘come out’ as a Democrat.
11. Rosie O’Donnell will admit on Oprah that she is the victim of a botched sex change operation.
12. The first transexual Miss America will be crowned.
13. The New York Yankees will win the World Series – by accident.
14. Scientists will discover that land masses and ice masses surrounded by water experience erosion, thereby diminishing the size of said mass.
15. Inexpicable accidents and scandals will befall any opponents to Senator Clinton in the bid for the Democrat candidacy.
16. Barak Obama will blame his ears on President Bush (why not? everything else is his fault.)
17. In a daring move, CBS will replace anchorperson Katie Couric with Barney the purple dinosaur – hoping to capture the heretofore untapped demographic of oversized stuffed animals everywhere.
18. The medical community will unanimously agree that living is dangerous to one’s healthy and Congress will pass a law that all newborns henceforth will be tatooed with the Surgeon General’s warning of same.
19. Michael Moore will premeire his first film based on fact in his biopic called Fat Like Me.
20. Maureen Dowd will marry Jim Gilchrist and become a born again Libertarian and start her own newspaper called North of the Border.
21. Bob Woodward will admit on 60 Minutes that everything he has ever written is lies and promote his upcoming book, All I know is I Can’t Tell the Truth.
22. In an attempt to increase environmental awareness, major designers will develop a machine that can make fabric out of matter recovered in landfills. And use the fabric in their new spring lines. (clothes pins will be issued to all attendees at the Spring showing.)
23. Jimmy Carter will become the new spokesperson for Jiff peanut butter, making the claim that it has a little known use as mortar (as demonstrated in the habitat for humanity model homes).

and finally….

We’ll all be going to Hell in a handbasket. 😉

Okay, those are my predictions…anyone care to offer some of theirs?