So, Where’s the Peace?

Okay, well the world is officially insane – the Nobel Peace Prize to Al Gore? Are they kidding? Even if Gore was right about Global Warming, how in the hell does that equate to earning the Nobel Peace Prize? As far as I can see, there is nothing but unrest on this topic. In fact, it inspires downright insanity in people. So, where’s the peace?

And aside from being a marginal Senator and a boring Vice President, what exactly are this guy’s credentials? He wrote a propaganda film, for which he won an Academy Award (and these people know science, yes?) – so right there, you know it was bullshit. The Academy doesn’t give awards to anything that even slightly resembles reality. Unless, they’ve all been kidnapped and reprogrammed with actual IQ’s.

What exactly has Algore done to now be the bastion of world peace? Did I miss the kumbyah party? Yeah, yeah, I know he invented the Internet so now every adolescent boy in the world can have live porn in the privacy of their bedrooms rather than stealing their dad’s Playboy – but that only brings about a small amount of peace of mind, right?

He’s run for president four times (yep, four times, folks) and still can’t get it right. His Jenny Craig program obviously isn’t working and he’s changed his position of everything from the Middle East to popcicles – so what exactly, how exactly does this translate into getting the Nobel Peace Prize? How? How? How?

Oh yeah, that’s right – this prize is awarded by 8 anal Swedes who don’t get out much. Why do we even care? Who are these guys that we should care about who they give awards to? As far as I’m concerned it would have more weight if Kelly Clarkson gave out the awards – at least we know she got millions of votes and sold millions of records?

But don’t you think it’s ironic that some weird dudes from the land of eternal snow gave another really weird dude an award for his Global Warming incantations?

Yep, the world is officially insane.

Is Information Killing Us?

I doubt anyone would argue with me on the idea that we are in the Information Age. We’ve sped past the Industrial Age, outsourced most of our manufacturing, given up our agricultural roots (pun intended) to the corporate farms – and thanks largely to the Internet and Algore(not), have essentially made our mainstay diet, data and information. How utterly enlightened of us. We certainly can and do pat ourselves on the backs for having acheived this milestone in civilized society – yet…. Why in the hell are we so stupid?

I don’t necessarily mean you my friends, I mean we as a collective, as society. Despite the fact, that we have a never-ending source of information, data, news, and connections to same we seem to be stupider than we have ever been. We seem to have less common sense (just read any random 10 lawsuits), less sense of community (read any random 10 pieces of legislature passed, locally or federally), are less likely to lend a hand or think of anything other than our own needs (road rage, current role models, the never-ending stream of victim laws, etc. ad nauseum).

Yet, we are also more educated than we’ve ever been. They are starting kids in pre-pre-school, in order to socialize children, in order to increase their intelligence and ultimately to increase their ability to succeed in higher education and the job market. Yet, more high school seniors are unable to read and write than ever before. When I was in high school, I never even heard of a high school senior who couldn’t read and write – now, it seems to be some sort of social problem for which we need programs, sub-languages (ebonics anyone?), translators, secondary and tertiary language versions of materials and texts and still it doesn’t seem to improve. We blame the teachers for the problem, yet never throw the spotlight on the system in which they are forced to operate. Smart, huh?

Every wonderful and deplorable thing that man has had and does have to offer or has created is at our fingertips – yet, we are never satistifed and continue to feed our incessant craving for stuff but not knowledge. Also, generally speaking, we are unhappier (just look at all the new mental and emotional disorders we have ‘discovered’ in the last 3 decades) and less satisifed with ourselves and our lives. We have so much more than our parents ever had, so much more, so many more choices, opportunities and avenues to take and explore. But rather than being deleriously happy and embracing all of these wonderous things we look to the government to protect us and coddle us from the big bad world. We sacrifice the rearing of our children in exchange for laws that will prevent our neighbors from annoying us or doing things we think they shouldn’t oughta do.

We don’t need to have opinions of our own because we have talking heads, politicians and ‘community leaders’ who will talk for us and let us use their opinions. We have sacrificed our own personal critical thinking skills to them so that they will protect us from our environments, neighbors, nature, and things that go bump in the night, and even ourselves so that we won’t have to be responsible for what we bring into our lives or the lives of others. All so we can live in our bubbles and not be bothered.

We have been lulled into the belief that information is knowledge – that what we see, hear and read is true, by virtue of the fact that we see, hear and read it. Never realizing that it’s just bullshit hitting us faster than it did before at the speed of the latest and greatest Intel processer chip.

We believe indoctrination is education, political correctness is caring, global warming is inevitable, second hand smoke will get us when we aren’t looking, interlopers have rights in our country, terrorists can be reasoned with, children have no right to innocence, certain groups deserve special consideration, drugs can bring us happiness, weight loss and spiritual enlightenment and any entity that provides jobs and commerce are evil. We’ve been sold a bill of goods, my friends. And make no mistake, information is not knowledge. Being able to spew facts at will is not talking truth. And all this information has not enlightened us one whit.

This glut of information is killing us. Killing our souls, our minds and our ability to think. Unless we use the information it will use us – as it is right now. If we never stop to question anything, never stop and say ‘wait a minute, that doesn’t make sense’, never stop to disagree with the information du jour if for no other reason than we can, then what kind of world will we be leaving for the next generation coming up? I think we will leave a world of sheep, a world where books will be banned because they offend, where personal freedoms will be determined by the state and those in power, where our children will no longer need identification, money, property or bank accounts, just a bar code tatooed on their skull and number in one of the giant computers that holds all the information. Think about it.

What do you think?


Go Away, OJ

It seems like only yesterday when I sat glued in front of my t.v. set, waiting with baited breath to see what would happen today. The “Trial of the Century” they called it and man were we hooked or what? I admit that I became a total junkie. There wasn’t anything I would rather talk about, nothing I’d rather think about – I had to solve the mystery.

As did many of us, apparently. What was really a three ring circus, starringa dyfunctional judge, a prosecutor who couldn’t look attractive regardless of her hair style or makeover, a cast of the weirdest witnesses ever to sit in a witness box and some of the most expansive gasbags in Beverly Hills (also known as lawyers).

I admit too that at first I didn’t want OJ to be guilty. I was particularly a fan of his, nor did I watch any of his movies – but, he was an icon not just of football but of the American Dream. I really didn’t want to blow up that image in my head and replace it with the reality that he was simply a narcissistic psycho who got away with murder.

After millions of dollars, mountains of evidence, hundreds of witnesses and volumes of testimony, the most inept prosecution team in the history of California and perhaps the country, managed to lose a case that should have been a slam dunk. And you may not know this but I kid you not, they all got a BONUS after they lost the biggest murder case in decades. Yep, I paid for that too.

Okay, so it’s over and thank Gawd, because by the time it was over I never, ever, ever, ever, wanted to hear about it, him, them or anything having anything to do with it. Never again. Much as I felt for the Browns and the Goldmans I was fresh out of sympathy and interest in the saga. Stick a fork in me because I was done with a capital D.

Since then, there have been the odd news item about the murdering s.o.b. which may have been amusing but certainly not interesting. And for the most part, OJ ceased to exist in my world. Can I get an, Amen?

But, apparently the universe doesn’t feel we’ve had enough OJ and apparently OJ doesn’t think we’ve had enough of him either, since the idiot went out and kidnaped, and held people at gunpoint over his old OJ shit.

You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting some story, news report, article or conversation about it. You know what I say? Big f’ing deal. The jerk committed yet another crime. Are we surprised? Are we honestly shocked in any way? Are we amazed by the new depths the man has managed to sink? I think not. Yet, our information suppliers (aka the media) are all atwitter over OJ’s latest bullshit and they can’t get enough of it, so we can’t get enough of it.

But I have a suggestion for the media. If you really want to drive the guy crazy, drive him up the frickin’ wall – why not just ignore the whole damn thing? Nothing bothers a narcissist more than being ignored. Nothing enrages them more. Nothing freaks them out better than that. You media guys want to see OJ’s head explode, ignore him. Treat him like the scurvy little spider that he is. Treat him as though he matters not and I promise you will get the story of the century. I can see the headlines now, “OJ Spontaneously Combusts on Larry King Live! Ignoring OJ May be Responsible for his Giant-Ass Brain Tumor Which Doctors Have Confirmed is Inoperable. OJ Takes Off for the Moon Without a Rocket Ship!”

Yeah, I like the sound of that. I like the idea of him sitting in a jail cell and being ignored and treated like he is no better than the dust bunnies under my bed. I really like it.

Hey OJ! Just go away!


You’re Not the Boss of Me


I had a very interesting conversation with an employee the other day. This particular employee has been giving me a hard time since day one and really drives me up the wall.

It started as a dispute over an error on her timecard – I’d shorted her a half hour. I told her so, after she complained and offered to cut her a check right then and there or to add it to her next paycheck. She insisted it was more than that, and essentially I wasted an hour teaching her math so she could understand, in fact, it was a half an hour. Now this girl is a medical assistant and can’t seem to do basic math. Are we alarmed yet?

Of course, the conversation didn’t end there – oh no, there were many things that had to be discussed. Temper tantrums and flashes of anger, which I advised her to knock off and she did sort of…

As the time ticked off and essentially I was being paid to deal with this whining girl and she was being paid to whine to me, we got to the crux of the matter. She informed me that she was taking two vacations over the next 8 weeks. Two vacations???? This girl hasn’t even worked here a year, and has taken one week already to go to Hawaii and a long weekend to go to Vegas. Apparently there is a family reunion and a cruise she absolutely must go to.

Now, look, I don’t like to spoil people’s fun and I don’t really mind trying to work something out so people can go to things like family reunions and so forth. But give me a break – she expects to be given off essentially four weeks during the a course of 9 months employment. Call me crazy but I’ve never worked anywhere that would give that kind of time off in such a short employment.

And the kicker is, that she didn’t ask me. She told me. Like, “Oh, by the way, I’m taking these dates and these dates off. I have a family thing and then I’m going on a cruise.”

Eh? I asked her if she could take them at the same time, schedule them back to back so it would only be one leave. Oh no, can’t do that. Because her boyfriend is paying for it. When asked if she could persuade her boyfriend to schedule the cruise right before or right after the reunion, she said “I can’t afford to take that much time off at once.” Excuse me?

She can’t afford to take that much time off. So what? I’m supposed to be worried about her finances while she throws the practice into mayhem because she’s leaving on her little trips? She doesn’t have anyone who is coming to cover her, nope, she figures her supervisor can just cover for her during her absence.

So, I say, “Well if your supervisor can cover you during your absence, then why do I need two medical assistants?” You know? Why? If the supervisor can do all the work that needs to be done, what the hell is she doing?

Ooops, no answer for that one. Nope, she has to think about that. Kind of like her math problem, she just doesn’t know the answer. She just knows that she wants what she wants and she’s going to tell me and I’m going to do it.

“You’re not the boss of me, ” I tell her. “It may come as a shock, but I’m actually the boss of  you. And I just don’t know if we can give you the time off. Sorry.”

“Well, what are you going to do,”she asks. “Fire me?”

I smiled wryly and left the room.

You know, she’s been awfully nice to me since then. Let’s see if that lasts.




Okay, so this weekend was kind of odd and surreal. The weather was like something out of an Emily Bronte novel – in fact, I could almost hear Cathy and Heathcliff whispering to each other – so I immediately went into a sort of hibernation-stasis mode.

To my delight, my friend J was in town and we had dinner and some great conversation and were up til all hours. I caught up on some posts and reading and things seemed, well…okay.

Then I decided to drag my sorry ass out to put gas in the car because of course, I didn’t want to try that on Monday morning. What did my eyes see? Broken tail light glass shattered in the middle of the street. I thought, I better pick that up because I don’t want to drive over that. Which I did…and then some little voice said, oh-oh. I didn’t want to, no, I really didn’t but I walked back to look at the back of my car. There is was – a big gash and broken tail light. My beautiful car has been hit and then they ran.

Bastard, bastard, bastard all to hell! Shit, damn, fuck! I cried a little because my beautiful car had been marred. It was perfect and now it isn’t. No note. No, I’m sorry. No, nothing. Sonofagun!

Roomie helped me retrieve as many of the pieces as we could and is as we speak out there with handyman-guy trying to put the pieces back together. It could be worse, yah, it certainly could be worse – but damn!

Because I didn’t see anything the only thing the police would do is take a phone report for the insurance company. Yeah, like I’m going to tell them about it. Sigh. It’s always something. Crap! Please God, let the tail light still work and just have the cover need replacing. And please God, let my mechanic know some body shop guy who can fix it without it being too painfully expensive. And thank you God, for letting the auto parts place be open so I could buy that stupid red tape to cover it up for now.

I guess that $200 filling is going to have to wait, eh?

Like I said, it could have been worse and I’m thankful it wasn’t too bad. Now, I guess my car is like me – kind of pretty but definitely flawed.


Boomer Truths


I am one of the annointed ones. You may know my demographic as baby boomer. Yep, I’m a boomer. When you say it like that it sounds kind of like a skateboard champion or something, doesn’t it? Or something equally arrogant?

I have to tell you I am sick of us. I am sick of the boomers. I sick of the generation who thinks it rules the universe from now until eternity. The mantra of never getting old, never passing the torch is pretty irritating.

I remember when I was a kid I was barely in the demograhic, just managed to squeak in there. By the time I was a teen, I was pert near in the middle of the range, now I imagine I’m somewhere in the subgenre of silver or maybe bronze baby boomers since the ‘goldens’ are about to retire and single-handedly destroy social security by sucking it dry. (Funny, I thought Congress had done that 20 years ago. They must be boomers too. )

It’s like the generation that will not die. The generation of generations. The one time in human history that super humans were born. I mean think about it. Look what us boomers have actually contributed to society. The Anti-War Industry; Global Warming/Cooling industry; Catalytic Converters; Economy Cars; An entire economy for Japan and subsequently all Asian nations; Anti-Smoking laws; Anti-Honesty (political correctness); Illiteracy among high school graduates; Institutional Anarchy; Mind Control drugs (psychotropics which alter the chemistry in the brain, all in the name of controlling mental illnesses which by and large are invented); the U.N. (which is supposed to stand for United Nations but really stands for Unbelievable Ninkompoops); they helped us lose a war we actually won (Vietnam) and therefore sentenced millions of people to the killing fields(don’t know what I’m talking about, look it up); they killed class and sense; were able to turn a white trash president into the first black president; botox; plastic surgery; liposuction; cloning; stem cell research; abortion on demand and many other things. Feeling proud? I know I sure am.

To be fair there have been other contributions which were good – and I don’t think all baby boomers are bad – but the bad ones are so bad, so arrogant I want to scream and the good ones no one seems to listen to. But the thing that is so funny to me and maybe is a secret that I’m not supposed to tell is this: Their real thing and what really motivates them is that they don’t want to get old. They will do and say anything rather than get old. Their whole lives revolve around looking and acting young. Ponce de Leon has nothing on these folks – cuz they are never, never, never, never, ever going to get old.

They will build hearing aids into their Ipods, sew Depends into their designer capris, wear their hair extensions to their caskets; laser out their wrinkles; dye what hair they have left; liposuction their fat bellies and asses and drive Corvettes forever. Just so you don’t know how old they really are.

Me? Personally I don’t see anything wrong with wanting to look good or feel good, or have healthy habits – but I am getting older. So what? That is a mantle passed from generation to generation, it is a medal from life that is earned. The joy of getting older is that you find you don’t have nearly as much to prove as you once thought; you have experience; you gain wisdom and can determine really what is important. I find it very freeing and delightful. I wear my wrinkles proudly and the sun damage and the silver (ultra blonde) hairs and all the rest. Maybe if a lot of my fellow boomers would relax and accept who they really are, the world wouldn’t be such a bizarre place. Or maybe it would. Hard to say.


The Blog Gods Are Angry!#$%@&*!

First of all let me just say this is all Bill Gates’ fault! The dawg!

Okay, I’ve been blogging for a little while now- I think I’ve learned the ropes more or less. Know how not to crash my hard-drive, or blow up my computer, can’t write code but sort kinda know what it is, right? Right. Got a photobucket account, just like my mentor told me to – learned how to download pics so they don’t look like you’ve just had a hit of acid or something. Can tag surf, check my comments, response to readers in bold, add links and blah, blah, blah. Right?

So suffice to say that given the glorious ease that WordPress gives you in blogging – I can function within the normal confines of blogging. I’m not a blackbelt or anything – but I know my way around the ol’ blogosphere. And yet….

In my adventures as a blogger I have had to actually shut down a blog and reopen it under a different name because one day I just couldn’t add categories to my posts. For you layman out there, those are ‘tags’ ‘keywords’ that people use to find subject matter on the net. I tried and tried. But there was clearly no way to trick the system – even tech support was baffled. So – okay, no big deal transfer the blog over and start again.

Then I’ve had posts just disappear. Now you see it now you don’t. Again, some sort of glitch in the cyber universe, as I’ve commiserated with others whose posts have vaporized as well.

I’ve had code that simply refused to be deleted and finally won because after two hours you just say uncle. Which resulted in half the post being in one font and the other half in another.

I’ve had regular readers end up in the spam box, rather than having their comments posted and spammers doing pingbacks, making nonsequitor posts and happily running down the halls, spraying graffitti everywhere.

Not long ago, I added a bright new blogger to my blogroll. He’s bright, funny and a pleasure to read. And I thought, what the heck, I like this guy and I’m linking him. No problem, right? Well the weird thing is that whenever I click on the link I get redirected to some weird admin link and one of those insipid messages that says basically ‘screw you, you’re not getting in.’ I’ve recently discovered that if I’m logged out I can sometimes actually access his page. Sigh. So, I’m trying Chris.

Then today – well I had this cute little post all set up about snow in L.A. and a great little vid to go with it. But nope, wasn’t going to happen. The last two hours have been chewed up trying to make it work and it just goes into download hell and never arrives.

Poor tech support, I’ve emailed them so much lately that surely I’m in their permanent spam list – and pain in the ass file. And who could blame them? I feel like that little old lady who is always bringing stuff back to the store insisting it doesn’t work but of course it works for everyone else.

So, now I’m sure of it. It is simply the Great Blog Gods in the sky. They are pissed at me. They are making me pay. They got an email from Bill Gates telling them I refuse to download yet another version of his piece-of-shit IE browser and they are conspiring against me. They’re all up there smoking cigars, counting their money, drinking beers and laughing their asses off. Trying to figure out how else they can screw with me. The rat bastards!

Well, I will not relent! I will not download that hideous browser. They can torment me all they like. I still refuse to be herded like cows into their mindless one-world order composed of all of those who must obey! (Can you hear the trumpets now?)

Give me liberty or screw you! I have not yet begun to bitch! I will prevail!

Phew…I feel better now. Have a nice day. 😉


Oy Carumba, the Guilt!

Recently I’ve mentioned problems on the job front – the company I worked with for almost 3 years was having trouble. Well, I’m sorry to say that the trouble didn’t end and I have left what I affectionately called The Land of Fun.

It was a fun, easy-going place to work – since we made movie props and I guess were sorta kinda in show business, there was no end of make-believe going on. But I guess there is more than make-believe needed to keep a business going.

No worries about me, as I’ve gotten another job, which I start Monday. It’s a far cry from the Land of Fun and it will be a brand new adventure for me – or them, I guess we shall see who experiences the most surprise. 😉

I felt kind of guilty leaving my old job. We’d all become such comrades it rather felt like deserting the ship – but I had to admit that I needed to take care of me first and so left I did.

Now, I could have started my new job this week actually. I could have just jumped right into the fray and let the chips fall where they may. But, I decided (since the folks at Land of Fun didn’t require me to work out any notice) to just take a few days off.

I reasoned that there were lots of stupid, little things that needed to be done that I never seem to get around to doing. That I was some time to decompress and chill out. I wanted to go to my new job, fresh and relaxed. That I deserved a break. Because truth be told I don’t take vacations. Oh sure, I went away for a few days over Thanksgiving and as much fun as it was to see my friends, it was work. Try tagging along with a mother of three ages 9, 2 & 1 and you’ll know what I mean. Hell, I needed a vacation after the vacation.

So, okay, I’m having a little vacation. I’m catching up on sleep. Reading. Doing things around the house. Reveling in the solitude (did I mention roomie got a job?) and silence. I’ve been taking long walks with the dog – collecting bouquets of wild flowers – taking long showers, tweezing my eyebrows. Really important stuff.

Yet…the guilt. After a day and a half I started feeling like I was committing a crime. I felt like I should call my new job and confess that I was goldbricking for a few days before I decided to come in. I’m blowing off that idea the consultant had about going in on Saturday to get a little orientation. I’m not answering the phone for fear it might be someone who might want me to do something. I peer through the kitchen curtains to see if the Job Police are cruising my neighborhood, looking for layabouts.

I’ve parked my car a few houses down from mine, in case somebody I know drives by won’t think I’m home. When I go out I wear dark glasses and slouchy clothes so I won’t be recognized. I haven’t called any friends because I don’t want them to know I’m slacking. WTF is wrong with me? I mean, why the guilt?

I’ve been on my own and working for a living since I was 17. Even when I lived with my parents, I worked, bought my own clothes and textbooks, was always doing something. I’m not wired to lay around and do nothing. I mean, not that I’m doing nothing – I’m doing stuff. And it’s stuff that needs to be done but…I still feel guilty.

If I’m not out somewhere doing something, or writing about something or reading about something then I feel like I’m letting my fellow man down. Why can’t I simply enjoy my sloth week? Why can’t I revel in being bad. In being lazy. In doing nothing? Why????????

Do you think it has anything to do with being raised Catholic? I man people always say that the Jews have the corner on guilt but maybe they haven’t had any run ins with the Nuns. The ones who give you the look. You know the look? The one that can put a crease in your slacks, while you’re wearing them? The one that can make you pray for forgiveness even if you haven’t done anything? I’m telling you – the guilt, the guilt, the guilt. I can’t take it anymore!

Gotta go…somebody is lurking outside my house and I’m afraid they can hear the keys tapping.


Hard to be Humble…All Hail Mrs. America!

Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble when you’re perfect in every way… I can’t wait to look in the mirror, cuz I get better lookin’ each day…To know me is to love me – I must be a heck of a Nan…Oh Lord, it’s hard to be humble but I’m doing the best that I can..(please forgive me Mac Davis 😉 )

Well there she is folks, Ms. America…oh yeah. This pop-eyed, botoxed, nasty, mean bagillionaire is now the Speaker of the House. According to Drudge (or somebody) the most powerful woman in the world – Uh – duh! doesn’t she know Hillary owns that title? Could be problems in her future. Yep, this demon-crat has got her pitchfork ready and her first target is your wallet.

Aren’t you ever so glad that you decided to teach the Republicans a lesson? Well if you’re not yet, you surely will be soon.

While she is standing at podiums and appearing on talk shows gushing about how she’s made a monumental strike for woman-kind by ‘breaking the marble ceiling’ in American politics (jeez-louise, who the hell writes her speeches?) – her accountant is madly working on what tax shelters he can hide her bagillions in for her tax return. While she is expounding the virtues of raising the minimum wage, she is refusing in her own business to hire union workers and instead employing illegal aliens – lest she doesn’t take too bad a cut on her bottom line. While she is damning places like WalMart, who provide a service for lower income families, not to mention jobs – she and her cronies are figuring out how we can actually get Hillary’s universal healthcare in place. Of course that means somebody is gonna have to pay for it. Hmmmm….I wonder who?

Something tells me it isn’t going to be Nan, Teddy or Harry. Naw…they have bagillions and intend to keep it all. They can spend our tax dollars with wild abandon though – yep, better start stuffing your mattress now cuz you may need it in order to fund all the ‘free’ healthcare for people who feel the ‘government’ can pay for all the stuff they need. Of course, we are actually the government. Get it?

Hail the Queen of the May. Mrs. Speaker. The most powerful woman in the world. Oh yeah – she’s sure is the symbol of America huh? I know I can identify with her and use her as a role model. I think I’m gonna run right out and buy me an ugly red suit and some botox injections – cuz when I grow up, I wanna be just like her.

Let the games begin.