Women – Theme Friday

How are women different from men?

Women listen
Women cooperate
and see the future through their children
but themselves through their men

We celebrate the small victories
a flower erupted from seed and sunshine
a full tank of gas
a coffee shared with a friend
good hair days
steak on sale
perfect weather on picnic day

We mourn our insecurities
and hide our imperfections
We crave love we feel
we don’t deserve
we always think other women are better
or stronger
or prettier
or happier
but we know they are not

We want to be looked at
but wonder why anyone does
always suspecting
we trail toilet paper on our shoes
or have busted a seam

We want acceptance
but cannot accept ourselves
We feel joy
by being seen
heard and appreciated

We know one another
through our shared experiences
we are mothers, daughters and sisters
confidants, comrades and co-conspirators

We are not from Venus
but from ourselves
from intuition, gentle touch
and tender care

We are not a secret
but an open book
of stories we long to tell
to anyone who
wants to know us

copyright 2010

What women does Christine know?
Clancy Jane’s women meet here

Hotel – Theme Friday

Hotel. An old postcard in sepia tones. Polished mahogany banisters and burgundy floral carpet that turns footsteps to whispers.

A place of bell hops
High tea luncheons
Ladies in gloves and hats with veils
and Elevator men

Room service with linen napkins and polished silver.

Tinted plate glass windows adorned with gold etched letters and Italian marble fountains out front. Grand, wide steps leading to arched doorways. Architecture that loves itself proudly.

A place for round table writers –
gin and tonic for Scott and Zelda
champaign cocktails for Mrs P

Where time stops upon entry and harbors elegance for those who are privileged to know it.

copyright 2010

Where did Christine check in?
How much luggage does Clancy Jane have?

Cigarette – Theme Friday

Samantha stared at the pulsing cursor on her screen as it mocked and dared her to decide. Her desk overflowed with books depicting, murder, mayhem, and body disposal. And true accounts of atrocities most people would rather not know, but upon which she thrived. Samantha Smith wrote murder mysteries—the ultimate human puzzles.

Sam crushed out a cigarette in the full ashtray and pondered how much damage cigarette lighter could do to a victim.  While Sam deliberated, her villain paced and screamed from the electronic page. “Hey! What the fuck am I gonna do? Torture her with the lighter in my car or do I get a Zippo? A real man’s weapon?”

“Snap out of it girl before you climb inside that monitor?” a voice from the real world asked.

Sam felt her heart brake as her body did an involuntary jump. “Oh Jesus, Erica, how many times have I told you not to sneak up on me?” Sam wagged a finger at Erica Markum—friend and aggravator alike.

Erica snickered and her dark eyes danced. “I didn’t sneak up on you, darling. I simply walked in. Is it my fault that you’re so absorbed in whatever murder you’re plotting that you’ve gone deaf?”

“All right,” Sam smiled and easily forgave the intrusion. “Honestly, I could use a distraction.” The sound of her villain’s voice reduced to a mere nagging whisper in the back of her mind. Sam lit another cigarette and scanned her desk for the cup of coffee she’d brought into her office hours before. “Are we having lunch or something? Did I forget again?”

Erica shook her head and thumbed through one of Sam’s reference books. “Mmmm, The Poison Cookbook. That should make for some interesting recipes.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

“Just dropped in to say, hello.” Erica smiled seductively.

Sam took the book away from Erica and put it aside. She admired Erica’s long, red fingernails and pictured her at home in a novel about murder and deceit. She’d make a perfect murderess – beautiful, intelligent and manipulative. Sam let the idea percolate in her head. A definite possibility for her next female villain. Sam smiled in that writer way as the wheels turned. Click, click, and click.

Erica tensed. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?” Sam asked.

“Like you’re wondering if I have a gun in my garter belt,” Erica chided.

“Am I, darling? I’m sorry. Really, I was just thinking about my story. You know how preoccupied I can get.”

Erica fidgeted with the clasp on her designer handbag. “Don’t lie to me, I know you were thinking something.”

Sam laughed. “You’re right. I was thinking . . . I was thinking what a good villain you would make.” Erica frowned. “Don’t get upset, I don’t mean literally . . . I mean for one of my stories, you know?” Erica’s frown became a grimace. Sam hurried to explain. “As a model, I mean. That you would make a good model for one of my villains . . . in a story. Oh come on, it’s a compliment really.”

Erica smiled without joy. “Oh,” she laughed. “Yes, I see. Well, thank you.”

Sam clutched a little at Erica’s reaction—she was still pissed, that was obvious. Better to change the subject. She made a big deal of routing around her desk. “Do you have a cigarette? I can’t find mine anywhere.”

Erica frowned. “You can’t find them because you smoked all of them”

“Do you have a cigarette?” Sam asked again and wondered why she and Erica were friends.

Erica dug through her bag. “So tell me, what kind of killer would I be?”

Sam shrugged. “I don’t know. Probably clever.” She leaned back in her old desk chair and envisioned Erica as murderess. “I think with panache.”

Erica’s grin was sudden and genuine. “Oooh, with panache. Really? You think?”

Sam nodded and grinned. “Yes, definitely. And your crime would be clever and unexpected. Your victim would trust you and would be utterly shocked when you finally attacked.”

Erica smiled again but it was a little creepy and Sam a shiver. “How intriguing. Why would I kill? Would I have a reason, or would it just be for kicks?”

But Sam was enjoying the game. “Good question. No, you wouldn’t do it for kicks. You’d have a reason. Jealousy probably.”

Erica looked angry suddenly and shook her head. “I would not!”

“Oh please, Erica, you know how jealous you are. Don’t you remember last summer? You thought I was having an affair with Jim? It took us weeks to convince you that you were being paranoid.”

Erica’s face clouded and she nodded. “Of course, I remember.” She pulled a pack of cigarettes from her bag and offered a smoke to Sam.

Sam snatched the smoke, lit it and took a deep drag. “Thank God!” She coughed. “Jesus, these are strong! What are they?”

“Poison, darling,” Erica smiled. “Pure poison.”

“Please, don’t start with the lectures again. I get enough of that crap from my mother. Besides, you smoke too.”

“Yes,” Erica nodded, “but in moderation. It’s not an addiction for me.”

Sam felt dizzy and put the cigarette in the ashtray. “I don’t feel right.”

Erica stroked Sam’s hair and patted her on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, darling, it won’t last long. I read it right here in your lovely book.  It says the pain passes quickly.”

Sam’s heart raced and she couldn’t focus. “What book? What do you mean?”

“I warned you about Jim. You think because I’m beautiful that I must be stupid?” Erica  waved a photograph of Sam and Jim in an intimate pose, in Sam’s face. “I know what you did.” Tears welled in Erica’s eyes but she ignored them. “Well darling, it’s all over now.”

Sam realized she’d be dead in minutes. The room faded out of focus. And she couldn’t voice the questions and defenses raging in her mind. Just before Sam’s equilibrium deserted her, she lunged for Erica but instead fell to the floor.

Erica leaned down and checked Sam for a pulse, then smiled. “Bye, bye, darling.”

Erica snubbed the burning cigarette out in the ashtray and put the butt in her pocket. “Musn’t leave evidence, must we?” Erica asked as Sam’s dead eyes stared up at her.  “I must say darling, you were right I am a clever murderess. Do you think Jim will agree?  Erica shrugged her lovely shoulders. “I guess the experts are right—smoking is hazardous to your health.”

What’s Christine smoking?

Is Clancy Jane on the back porch having a smoke?

Darling Henry – Theme Friday

Henry was a darling

a quiet, gentle man

Who never rose his voice

and always lent a hand

He worked his job

for thirty years

Never missed a day

Always with a smile

and a kind word to say

He paid his taxes every year

and glady did his ‘part’

And let his son go off to war

although it broke his heart

He mowed his lawn

and swept his walk

with great care and pride

Never grumbling about grafitti

he used the whitewash to hide

He voted in elections

ever faithful to his party

Believing that the promised change

would make his country hearty

And then the pinkslip came

Henry was no longer needed

Outsourcing – the solution

to which his bosses heeded

And oh yes, by the way

the pension plan was bleeded

And in the dark his son returned

from the ravages of war

But Henry didn’t recognize

the boy he once adored

The market crashed -housing fell

bail outs left and right

And in his heart he wondered

When he’d lost his sight

But suddenly his eyes were opened

and shock rang through and through

and no one had to tell him

what suddenly he knew

And Henry’s still a darling

a lovely gentle man

who raises his voice proudly

to get a better plan

For Henry won’t surrender

his country without a fight

because my dear friends

our Henry’s seen the light

copyright 2010

Christine and Henry

Clancy Jane and Henry

Tires-Theme Friday

He tires easily these days.

But sleep is a tangle of the past and waking moments a fog of routine.

Mornings in the park with the pigeons

Afternoons playing pinocle at the senior center

Evenings inundated by nightly news and game shows

Nights….waking and listening for her footsteps.

Lost he is without her.

“You weren’t supposed to leave me,” he mumbles from his heart.

“Til death do us part,” her spirit whispers. Or was it just a breeze?

And the band plays on.

copyright 2010

Christine’s tires roll

And Clancy Jane’s tires go round and round

What Color Are You? – Theme Friday

writer chick talks

No, it’s not a trick question. And I don’t mean your ethnic background or the dark or light of your skin. That’s just packaging. Albeit some of us use the shade of packaging…

To make a point

To justify behavior

As a reason to say yes or no

As motivation for love or hate

To feel a part of something or apart from something…

but I’m not talking about that.

Like the pretty package under the Christmas tree, it’s not the number of bows adorning the outside that’s important – it’s what the package contains.

So…I ask again. What color are you?

Green for the soothe of rustling trees

Blue for the cool of the ocean or expanse of the sky

Yellow for the warmth and energy of the sun

The crimson of passion’s depth

Gold like the truest of hearts

Pink at the height of health

Orange all tangy and citrus-y?

Or perhaps you are a rainbow of early morning hues, leaving watercolor footprints in your passing.

Or a kaleidascope stretching lazily across the evening sky following the promise of moonlight.

Or a riot of wildflowers roaming the open fields.

And I ask you once more – what color are you? The true-you that needs no name or address, no politics or boundaries and travels further than the imagination can dance?

copyright 2010

What color is Christine?

Oh Mother – Theme Friday

Oh Mother…

you gave me birth

but I often wondered why

I never pleased you

I often made you cry

I was too sullen

too fat, too shy

Too quiet, too noisy

too low, too high

Neither the baby

nor first-born

I tread in the middle

Feeling forlorn

Professing maternal love

with tears and supplication

and criticized my actions

with promised damnation

Oh Mother…

I sought your praise

in everyone I met

left feeling needy

from that foolish sucker’s bet

copyright 2010

Christine and her mother….

Walking – Theme Friday

I’m walking. Pushing past protesting muscles that beg me to stop. Breathing labored and proving my sedentary tendencies.

But the sky is blue and the sun sinks into the cold place that lives inside me.

Walking hurts. Blisters form. Hamstrings shriek like sad violins out of tune. The dog drags me along—a little ox of industry, anxious to see the world as the ever exciting place it is. The hill rises slowly but challenges me still.

But walking keeps me alive. And proves that there is life beyond my four walls. And that the world is filled with freedom-seeking creatures. Birds streak across the horizon. Butterflies and bees dart in a nectar-crazed dance. Black-eyed Susans sway and nod with the breeze and smile good morning.

There is space. Life does go on despite hurt or pain. Joy is fleeting but can be known. Happiness sows its seeds and when tended can grow. I could make it grow and live. I could. I have the will…. Only a promise and not a certainty.

The calm spreads slowly and warmly like good cognac in quiet moments. So I walk…and keep walking. Eschewing thought. Worry. Sadness.

It is hard to be bitter in the sunshine. Hard to hate the world when you see it through unjudging eyes. Hard to surrender hope when your body is moving. So…I walk and keep moving. And follow the peace that lives out there.

copyright 2010

Where is Christine walking?

Teapot – Theme Friday

I’m a little teapot, short and stout – here is my handle, here is my spout…” Before I ever knew what those words meant, I sung them to amuse grown ups. Mommy…Daddy…aunties and uncles.  The words gave me a fleeting power to command the eyes, ears and attention of adults. For those few moments, I ruled, cavorted, made them laugh and praise me — using my blond ringlets and fetching dimples to their maximum power.

It wasn’t long though before I connected the words to the vessel that made tea. A wonderous liquid with healing capabilities far beyond touted claims. The power to comfort. The power to reassure. The power to warm. The power to make a sick little girl feel not so sick, not so lonely.

And tea had its greatest power when I was ill. Mama always made me tea and toast whenever I was sick. Oddly, when I was sick and Mama went through the tea and toast ritual it was the only time I felt unconditional love emanating from her. Bringing a tray into my darkened sick room, Mama spoke softly – felt my forehead and smiled at me as though I were the center of the universe. Truth be told, there were times when I wasn’t as sick as I pretended to be. I craved her love so—to be the owner of all her attention and care. To remove my siblings from the equation…

Granny’s teapot, a relic we inherited, was once grand and lovely. All the way from County Cork Ireland it traveled to find its new home in America. I don’t much remember Granny because she left us when I was very small.  Eyes the color of jade, clear and unmutuable—hands white as milk with fine blue veins pulsing beneath the skin.

That teapot became Granny in my mind – fine structure, but ancient in its wage against time.  Pale and edged in faded gold and a spray of faded pink roses front and back. And from it came comfort, strength, love and reassurance. And I cried the day it finally died by suicide from a high pantry shelf. Tea never tasted the same after that and I spend my weekends looking for another Granny teapot and the curative powers it imparted.

copyright 2010

What powers does Christine’s teapot have?

Sick Day – Theme Friday

Back in the day of being a 9 to 5 working stiff, I found that frequently my job made me feel sick. Or perhaps it inspired me to feel sick. Thank gawd for sick days, without them there would have been no relief. Even unpaid sicks days were better than paid work days that made you sick.

On the other hand, having frequently worked in HR in my corporate (so to speak) career I sure heard some interesting sick day excuses. Real whoppers. Some of them even knee slappers.

But let’s face it, in this economy most of us grit our teeth and tell ourselves that any job is better than no job. And too, some of us are lucky to have sick days. In case you are short on possible sick day excuses I offer the following:

I’m calling in sick because…

  1. My stigmata is acting up
  2. I think I have food poisening (always a good one because it’s practically impossible to disprove)
  3. I think I have that 24 hour bug (I’m convinced that there really is no such thing as the 24 hour bug but rather it’s an urban legend developed by savvy sick day caller inners)
  4. I cracked a tooth (dicy because you’ll have to go to a dentist and they may want to know details)
  5. My dog, kid, spouse is sick
  6. My allergies are kicking up (workable only in spring and fall)
  7. I think I’ve been exposed to chemical warfare, toxic waste, mold (careful with this one, since employers are wary of worker comp claims)
  8. I have a migraine (again, good one because they come and go and nobody knows how to fix them and they aren’t seasonal)
  9. I injured …pick your body part (again a little risky because you’ll have to return to work in a sling, cast or brace, however, if you’re a good actor go for it)
  10. I’m having car trouble (this one is pretty workable, although it can backfire if someone offers to come pick you up)
  11. Weather (flooded streets, earthquakes, blizzards may all help in this excuse, however, if you are the only one who couldn’t get to work because it was raining, your boss probably won’t buy it)

Conversely, following are some excuses that probably aren’t recommended or believable:

I’m calling in sick because…

  1. I need a break from the back-stabbing blood suckers I work with.
  2. You people make me want to scream
  3. My boyfriend/girlfriend is in crisis
  4. My hard drive crashed
  5. I’m hungover
  6. I’m interviewing at another company
  7. I don’t have that project done that’s due today
  8. I’m going to the beach to get a headstart on my tan
  9. I broke a nail and need an emergency wrap
  10. My mother-in-law is coming for a visit and I have to clean the house
  11. If I take one more customer service call I’m going to puke
  12. I didn’t get any sleep because I was clubbing all night
  13. The voices told me that I should stay home
  14. My horoscope warns against travel today
  15. It’s my birthday and I’d rather have fun
  16. I need to go to a political rally
  17. I need to catch up on my tee-voe’d shows
  18. I’m meeting with my lawyer

While there are probably countless excuses both acceptable and unacceptable these are the ones that come to mind. Feel free to add to the list.  WC

copyright 2010

What kind of sick day is Christine having?