Simple

Simple…isn’t it a great word? It sort of bounces off the tongue and flits across the room, landing like a raindrop in a pond. Plop.

But life is anything but simple, isn’t it? Or is it? You’re born. You live. You die. End of story. The only two certainties: death and taxes. Right? Pocada pocada and away we go…

I’ve been thinking about how simple life was when I was a child. I woke in the morning, had a bite to eat. Got dressed, washed my face and hands and off to school. Where I learned a little bit and then came home. Had some cookies and watched cartoons – fought with my brothers and sister. Dinner. Bath. A little tv and then to bed. Simple.

I never thought about the bills or the price of gas. World affairs or politics. Celebrities or assholes (well maybe the bully down the street). My job or rotating the tires. Nope, not even one brain cell was devoted to that.

My brain power was devoted to pressing questions like: Why don’t cats like to wear doll’s clothes? How can I get that way up there booger out of my nose?  Do bees make their kids go to bed early? Yep, all the really pressing issues of the day. Well….at least my day.

And I dreamed…about the future. About being a ballerina, a teacher, a singer, a painter (now how did I end up a writer?) and even a fireman (firelady?). I imagined the pretty dresses I would wear and what I would name my babies. About becoming that mysterious and fascinating character: an adult.

Funny how when the dream becomes the reality it just ain’t that simple any more. Is it? Go figure.

WC

Are We Society Bots?

 

After the nearly 10,000 spam hits I’ve gotten on this blog, I’ve started thinking about this whole spam-bot thing. This isn’t another post complaining about spam, though it’s tempting, it’s really about how maybe the weird little things in life actually mirror who we are. Bear with me and we’ll see if I can make my point.

I’ve noticed with the spam that there seem to be trends. For example, one week it’s all sicko stuff, the next week it will be apparently from Russian or Yugoslavian guys, the next week from real estate people and this week I’ve gotten almost 2,000 spam hit from the drug planet. Every kind of drug you can imagine, which I dare not specify lest, they send another 2,000 my way. But it’s not the numbers or even the spam that interests me – it’s the trends. It’s the type of message they are spewing all over the place.

We live in a modern and technologically -savvy world. Heck, there is a gadget for everything, even a special clip for your potato chip bag, every method under the sun for your love-making preferences and a drug for everything that ails us. Still, we’re all restless, can’t seem to find our purpose in life, our soulmates, happiness, nirvana, whatever you want to call it. We’re still as screwed up as we were 30 years ago – maybe more so. Now doesn’t that give you pause?

Don’t you have to wonder that if none of this stuff is really floating our boats, if none of it is solving our woes, if none of this is tickling our fancy, then there must be some other reason for it all? I’m not going to go into any conspiracy theories here, because there are spambots for that too, so why would I take the time. But, I will say that if none of this stuff is solving our problems then it must be solving someone else’s. Right? I mean, no company keeps doing something just for the heck of it. They don’t advertise things to death because they aren’t selling it. So, if you put aside the ‘reasons’ they say they are selling it – to make you feel better, so you won’t hurt anymore, because you deserve the best, I’m okay, you’re okay, blah, blah – then you have to look at who/what it might behoove.

I think the spam bots are trying to tell us something and that that something is that we will not find our answers in pill bottles, blue videos, dates with Blonde Russian girls or real estate seminars. That no matter how many pills, vids, seminar, get rich quick schemes, promises of true love and so on are promoted that the answers lie somewhere else.

We’ve become convenience junkies – from junk food to remote controls. Why walk when you can drive the two blocks to the grocery store? Why cook when Micky D’s is down the street? Why talk to your family at the dinner table when you could be eating KFC in front of the big screen t.v.? Why be responsible when there is always someone else you can blame and make responsible for you?

We’ve become prisoners of our own laziness and apathy. We’ve stopped caring about each other and given in to a preference for living in our own little worlds, where companies and advertisers will gleefully supply us with everything we think we need or want. Hell, it’s all just money to them. And they are probably just as wound up in this silly string as everyone else.

Yep, we’re the little society bots who get up every morning, fire up our computers, check our emails, stop by Starbuck’s to get our fix, crank up our sound systems in the car and dial the cell phone and the heck with everyone else. You think I’m kidding but I’m not. I find it really sad and i worry, that we’ll someday all end up as Borgs or some odd configuration of man and machine all because we bought into the idea that life should be easy, that we are entitled to every little thing our hearts desire and that we shouldn’t really have to work too hard for it. Shouldn’t have to stand on line, shouldn’t have to be polite to our neighbors or care if some fellow is stranded on the side of the road.

Yep, we be society bots n’ shit. But I’m kind of hoping that the people out there who still think – give this some thought. Otherwise, we may soon find ourselves impelling through space into a bigger universe where we are the bots spamming the bigger guy’s computers.

WC

In Your Wildest Dreams

Recently, a friend of mine offered me a visit to her home (halfway across the world, mind you) and described the stay as if it were written in some beautiful, glossy travel brochures. It sounded heavenly. I’d have no cares or woes, just fun, peaceful bliss and lots of time to do whatever I wanted. My knee-jerk reaction was to complain about how reality wouldn’t stand for it. But…it still sparked something in me. It allowed me to dream (for a minute) about what I would do if I could simply take a year off.

Like, Poof! You now have a year off to do anything your little heart desires. You will suffer no consequences and at the end of said year, you may return to your normal life – no harm, no foul.

It was a heady thought and really did get my wheels turning – can you hear the screeching? I actually sat down and gave it some thought. What would I do if I had a ‘free year’? If I could do absolutely anything and there would be no negative ramfications?

Write: I’d write. I’d write up a storm. I’d write, articles, short stories, novels, scripts, menus, letters, poems, anything and everything. I’d also submit like mad, enter every contest I could find, spend the time to get a good agent and a publisher. I’d allow myself to feel like a writer, act like a writer, think like a writer, without the dull ache of everyday interferring. And from that, I think I’d change somehow. Maybe not physically, but it’s possible, but certainly on the inside there’d be a change. I might even lose that hangdog expression I get when I feel frustrated and hopeless. The world would once again, become a fascinating, interesting and beautiful place. It would be the source of wonder and joy. An open book, so to speak. Oh yes, it would definitely change me.

Blog: Naturally, I’d blog – I doubt much of anything would change that. But I sense that my blogging would also take on a new tone. Maybe it would be more fun or interesting. I’d have more time to learn about things, people, places, whatever. Maybe I’d even learn some photoshop tricks and make cool pictures. I don’t know – but I’d be the happy, traveling, blogger.

Read: I’d read all the books I’ve been meaning to read. I’d reread my favorite books, perhaps finding a deeper meaning in them than I already do. I’d read the classics, even the Russians. Plays, novels, poetry, volumes of short stories, epress, small press, big houses, small houses. Everything from Shakespeare to Evanovich.

Volunteer: I always wanted to do volunteer work. In my life, I’ve managed some. Like most of us, I give to charities when I can. Not much, but something. But I’d really like to somehow help in a way that would make a difference. I’ve often pondered being a Big Sister or volunteering at the V/A, or a children’s ward in a hospital, St. Jude’s. All of the above, and more. I have a strong desire to help others, and it hurts that I simply don’t have the time to do it.

Garden: Remember that 40lb tomato? Oh yeah, I would love to do that. Or something similar. I have always had a knack for gardening, making things grow. There is something wonderful about seeing seeds turn into living, growing things. Something wonderful about eating fresh veggies out of the garden. Seeing a beautiful carpet of flowers zooming across the landscape. I might even learn how to make my own compost heap. Exciting stuff, eh?

Travel: With the exception of my perilous two cross country drives between here and Florida, I’ve never really traveled. Some years back, I wanted to just pay off all my bills, save some money, buy a jeep or truck and just take off. I would travel around, stop in and see friends all over the country, take on odd jobs as I needed to and write about my adventures. I’d be a travel tramp, so to speak. See much of my beautiful and awesome country, try different foods, learn about different traditions and so on. I know a lot of people might prefer to go to Europe or places more exotic, but I’ve always yearned to see my own country and learn about it. Although, I might have to make a pit stop in Austrailia, as I seem to have a few friends there. 😉 

Work Out:  Once upon a time, I was in good physical condition. I used to run 5 miles a day, had a great bod and amazing stamina. In recent years I’ve turned into a bowl of mush. It’s embarrassing – but we go back to the workaday life, the lack of time and energy and that’s what you get. I would really like to feel physically fit again. Feel like learning tennis or running a few miles wouldn’t kill me. Like to spring out of bed and greet the day, rather than groan and beg for coffee first thing in the morning.

I’d spend more time with friends and family: There never does seem to be enough time for this either. I haven’t seen my Mom or my siblings for a few years. Not to mention, cousins, aunts and uncles. And it’s not good for the soul to feel disconnected and disjointed from the family and friend units.

Of course, I realize that I’d probably have to take five years to accomplish all of this – still I wouldn’t mind trying. I wouldn’t mind at all. In fact, I’d love it. And I’m sure if I did, I’d become a different person – a better person, someone I’d like a lot. And after writing all of this down, my heart is telling me that maybe I should give it a try. How I could pull it off is a total mystery to me – but I’d sure like to.

So, there is my idyllic life, in a nutshell.

How about you? If you had a whole year off to do anything under the sun, moon and stars, what would it be? What would you do? Would you, afterwards, really be able to go back to your old life? Or would you have changed your life forever?

WC

I’m Rambling…

 

I reach out for something to grasp but find empty hands. Darkness. Confusion. Nothing there and no one home.

The only noise is the silence that moves stealth like a viral disease, looking for its next victim.

It’s shaken us, this tragedy that has no explanation – and what explanation could it have? It would still be senseless and without merit. It would still diminish, harangue and frighten.

Safe is not a place out there. It never was. Safe has to be somewhere deep inside that enables you to carry on. Proves to you that there is sunlight outside the door that stands between you and everyone else.

Clutched hands and wrinkled, sodden hankies will not help us now. “Woe is me,” is nothing but a poor replacement for saying something honest. “The world has gone mad” or has it? Are we really that helpless?

Do we not still have our free will, our ever-adaptable minds and individual spirits?

Isn’t it possible even now or because of now, to be bigger than ourselves? Rising to the challenge of facing what makes us want to run away must be key to finding our voices and ourselves again.

Do the words of a rambling mind reach or repel you?

Life is fluid, always changing, despite any indication to the contrary. If we remain frozen in the moment, we are ceasing to live and therefore exist. Aren’t we?

I wish for us, to find our joy and hold fast. To flaunt it where darkness lurks and screeches. To choke off the fear and apathy.

Safe, is the place we make in our hearts and it cannot be taken from us unless we offer it up for slaughter.