15 Weird Things About Me

When I was a kid I was horrified at the idea of being weird. The weird kid was the one who was bullied and lost their lunch money all the time. Nope, I wanted to fit in. Not so easy, since I am weird. These days, I’m letting my weirdness hang out.   It takes off the pressure and helluva lot more fun.

  1. I don’t remember learning how to read, but I do remember I was reading before I started kindergarten.

2. In my alternate reality I am a homicide detective and I solve crimes constantly.

3. I wrote my first novel, The Addict, when I was 10. It was 30 pages long and it sucked. But my dad read every word. Bless his heart.

4. I talk to myself. In public. In private. I always have, since I was a kid. Nobody knows why.

5. I love to garden and though I’m not very good at it, my biggest tomato weighed almost 3 pounds. Oh and I talk to my plants – is that weird?

6. My favorite family pet was Rusty, a gorgeous collie who showed up on our porch one summer night and scratched on the screen door. He looked exactly like Lassie and I believed he was my soul mate.

7. My guilty pleasure is binge watching mystery shows (usually British) online. If I watch too many I start talking in a British accent.

8. Motown music will always inspire me to  get my freak on.

9. I had two nicknames when I was a kid; Neener and Rodg. I preferred Rodg

10. I’ve had many jobs in my life but the weirdest one was bus buffing. Hard on the back but definitely builds the pecs.

11. My first car was a VW Bug and it had temperamental brakes – meaning, I never knew when or if they would work. Usually, the back wall of the garage stopped the car before the brakes. My nickname for it was  “Death Trap.” I nearly gave my dad a stroke when I took him for a spin and ended up in somebody’s front yard. After that, I refused to drive a stick shift ever again.

12. When I was a kid I wanted to be a fireman or a ballerina but was forced to become a writer because I couldn’t stop making stuff up

13. I love dollar stores. It’s an addiction. I will buy anything if it costs a dollar. I’m their ideal customer.

14. If you want to make me cry show me a Hallmark commercial.

15. I really do work in my pajamas. In fact, I pretty much do everything in my pajamas. But you know, I live in California, so it’s allowed.

How about it, are you a weirdie too? Have you given in to your inner weirdness and let it shine in the light of day? Tell me all about your weirdiness in the comments, so we can revel in it together.

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Have you hugged your weird today?

banana man

Have you always been a little bit weird? A little strange? Dressed a little funny and maybe just didn’t fit in with the crowd. Maybe they even made fun of you because you liked purple sneakers or wore green with everything. Or your pre-meal ritual simply frightened them a little. Perhaps, you’re the only who ever laughed at your jokes – because nobody else got them, right? Until maybe purely by accident you bumped into a fellow weirdo and you secretly shared the joy of your weirdness.

Because you know something the non-weird don’t know. Being weird is really fun. And freeing. And those ‘normal’ folk have no idea what they’re missing either.

But this post is for the closet weird among us. Those who shared their weird with no one. Who only let their weird hang out when they’re alone or perhaps with a few close weird-minded friends. And to you closet weirds I say, “Embrace your weirdness.”

Why?

Well because…

  • It’s what makes you, you
  • It’s easy being the same as everybody else – it’s hard to be yourself
  • It might encourage suppressed weirdos to come out of the closet
  • It’s fun and makes you and others laugh
  • Behaving and doing what’s expected if overrated
  • It’s your God-given right

And when you feel alone in your weirdness, just remember there are/were lots of really famous weirdos, like:

  • Weird Al Yankowich
  • Einstein
  • Thoreau
  • Picasso
  • Robin Williams
  • Lily Tomlin
  • Annie Oakley
  • Dorothy Parker
  • Michelangelo
  • Shakespeare

I mean why be normal when you could be weird like these guys? Am I right?

How to embrace your weirdness

For those of you who’d like to give weird a try, following are a suggestions on how you might want to take it out for a test drive:

  • Spend the day playing nothing but Weird Al Yankowich tunes
  • Whatever requests are made of you today at the end of your answer add: “would you like fries with that?”
  • Wear two different sneakers to the gym and see if anyone notices, if they do, tell them it’s a new trend
  • Go to your favorite coffee place, order a coffee then sit in the dining room having a conversation with the main character in your book – if you aren’t a writer, then have a conversation with the main character of your favorite book
  • Start a fund for lost pens or homeless sneakers
  • Wear a top hat
  • Walk your dog or cat in a stroller
  • While riding on the bus sing to yourself intentionally screwing up the lyrics to well known songs (example: another one takes the bus, rather than, another bites the dust)
  • Wear a Tu-tu and ballet slippers, or any outfit that makes you feel happy
  • Tell people your favorite cause is lint preservation

Here’s a few pictures that might inspire you:

groucho girl white face clown little boy clown water in face

Or anything that strikes your fancy. You may find you really dig your native weird – because between you and me, everybody’s got a little weird in them.

How about you? Do you let your weird hang out or hide it from friends, family and co-workers? What’s your favorite way to be weird? What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever done. Get your weird on in the comments – and knock yourself out.

Weird Writer Chick crazy puppet head

“Not-there”

How do you explain something that is not? A non…quality, characteristic or state? A thing that should be there and you expect to be there that startles and confuses by it’s absolute absence?

I have grappled with this phenomena for some time now. Trying to discern error, find my mistakes and understand my utter misconceptions.

Through the internet we can find the best of worlds and the worst of worlds. We may encounter the truest of friends and the craftiest of tricksters. Though as a rule I think largely we encounter fair weather friends. Nothing wrong or unusual about that because in normal non-virtual life we encounter such people constantly. That aside, there were a few people of whom I was absolutely certain were the stuff of profound friendship. And it was these people after literally hundreds of hours of phone talk, thousands of emails and regular exchanges of gifts and cards, I ventured to meet in the real world.

Not much of a risk really because it seemed we all knew each other so very well that in fact we were all dear old friends. I truly believed that and approached the meeting with great enthusiasm. However, within moments of meeting the first ‘old friend’ something told me I was terribly mistaken. The not-there was so not there that I felt disoriented and incredulous at once. Which was immediately followed by copious amounts of denial. I had to be imagining the lack of warmth, the indifference and lightly veiled antagonism. It was travel day after all and we were tired and not ourselves, right?

And so planes were boarded and eventually landed. And baggage problems greeted us at the airport which served as a useful distraction for a time… And then onto the next friend – the one whom I’d known the longest and the best and once again the not-there appeared and that void left me scratching my head in wonder. And then the next and …. And after everyone settled in, got rest, food and sunshine the not-there did not relent.

What made it worse for me was that I could see there were connections between the others – making me wonder what awful thing I’d done to be excluded. To inspire such indifference about my presence on a trip I was encouraged greatly to take.

The week was one of the longest of my life and though I was crammed into a house full of people it seemed I was utterly alone. And I didn’t think of much else than being home among friends. I couldn’t sleep, nor eat – hell I couldn’t even make a phone call because my cell fell into a water trap at the mini golf course – effectively cutting me off from everyone.

And when the big good bye finally came it was little more than a lift to the bus station with a wave and a ‘see ya.’

For weeks afterward I told myself I imagined it or must have misunderstood. Things would soon return to normal – but no, they never did. The void simply kept growing. And eventually I had to accept that the friendship, warmth and love I’d felt simply wasn’t mutual. And that was just the truth it pure and simple. As the saying goes they just ‘weren’t that into me.’ And the reasons and explanations that might have been offered were irrelevant because it wouldn’t change the truth.

For a long time I was hurt, angry and confused and part of me wanted some sort of vindication or validation. But eventually I realized there was no point in that kind of thinking either. You cannot make another person care about you – it cannot be done (and even if it could, what value is there in that?).

So…I let go and walked away. Not an easy thing to do when you feel so invested but under the circumstances certainly the right thing to do. For all of us. I wish them all well and bear them no malice. Perhaps just a tinge of lingering sadness over it all but this is life and life is full of interesting lessons.

And make no mistake, I don’t write this any kind of cautionary tale. I have made many wonderful online friends whom I hope to meet someday too and will approach those meetings in the same way. And even if I never do, my life is better for the presence of these people.

I think I just write this to so I can put it all to rest and finally move on.

Weird Chick 9

Welcome back to another Weird Wednesday – our good buddy Grit has decided to join us in our mad weirdness, which is good cuz I’ve got no idea where Weird Mick has gotten to. So be sure to check out Weird Grit and I’m sure he’ll have something quite strange for you.

We’re kicking off with our Weird Video for this week. Who knew monkeys could be drunks like the rest of us?

Moving on to Weird Products:

buttbleach

Who doesn’t need some butt bleach?

rockymoutainsoysters  Perhaps you’re craving something tasty? How about some Rocky Mountain Oysters, aka deep fried bull testicles? Yummy!

 

sumseeds

And for those of us who don’t like coffee but need the caffiene, why not some super charged sunflower seeds? You’ll be chomping through the shells on these babies in moments flat.

Our Weird Art takes on the mantle of fashion and art:

weird-fashion-1

Finally, an outfit that hangs itself up. I’m sure this is going to be a killer trend among fashionistas!

headabovewater

And is that art or a giant woman pointing you toward the local Micky Dee’s?

Well, so ends another Weird Wednesday – be sure to check out my partners in crime and oh, really seriously, if you find something weird, send it to me.

Weird Chick

Weird Chick 8

Welcome back to another thrilling and Weird Wednesday. As always, I search the Internet for the weirdest weird I can find and bring it to you to feed your weird fix.

Kicking off with Weird News, this Squirrel seems to have a bit of Lindsay Lohan in him, doncha think? Click the pic for the link to the story.

squirrel-crasher, weird wednesdays, weird chick, weird

squirrel

Weird Art got a run for it’s money with these entries:

manbirdidont-know, weird wednesdays, weird chick, writer chick it’s a man, it’s a bird???

APTOPIX India Michael Jackson Reax, weird wednesdays, weird chick, writer chick an homage to the king of pop

weird-costumes-bangkok, weird wednesdays, weird chick, weird, writer chick and for the pet elephant who has everything…

Our favorites for Weird Products are decidedly blogger friendly:

butt_cooler I mean what blogger doesn’t need an ass cooler and since it’s a usb connector you don’t even need to find an outlet for it.

airconshirt_b And why not also get the usb air-conditioned shirt for those hot blogging nights. Links to both products can be found by clicking on the pics.

And finally, our Weird Video for the week will have you looking twice.

That’s all for this week – hoping you have a wonderfully weird Wednesday. And be sure to send me any weird you may find yourself, I’ll be sure to add it to the finds.

Weird (Writer) Chick

Weird Chick 7

 
seal-with-shades, weird wednesdays, weird chick

Welcome back to Weird Wednesdays – we’ve had a two week hiatus I have been scouring the Internet for more weird delights for you, so never fear, weird is here.

I had a great story about flying men and the future but the link went dead. Sorry it was a hum dinger… Perhaps this Weird Vid will tickle your fancy:

Weird Art took a decided human turn this week. Gotta love the hair, hey?

cheetah-hand, weird art, weird chick, weird wednesdays

tatoo-face, weird chick, weird wednesdays 

weird-hair, weird chick, weird wednesdays

Our Weird Products are fun too

cheesecake-lollipops, weird wednesdays, weird chick

Cheesecake lollipops, for the discerning palette – available at Amazon of course.

sun-moon-jars, weird wednesdays, weird chick 

Solar sun/moon jars – this is too cool, eh? Here’s the link if you need to buy a few.

iamnotapapercup and who doesn’t want the Iamnotapapercup? Made of porcelain and double insulated. Though I have to admit, I won’t be replacing my coffee mugs with one of these any time soon, some people might want the take out look with their coffee? Go figure.

man-boobs

What new papa doesn’t want a pair of man boobs? Although, at least we girls cover em up, put those things away dad!

So, there you have it another day of weird just for you. What about you, seen anything delightfully weird? Send it to me, I’ll be happy to put it up next time.

Weird Chick

Weird Chick 6

unexplained-phenomena-weird

Welcome to another Weird Wednesday where I scour the Internet to find the weirdest and wildest stuff I can find.

Starting off with some weird science, click on the pic above to read the top ten unexplained phenom in the known universe.

brake-fast-dog-food-bowl

Our favorite weird product is the Doggie brake-fast bowl – cute huh, a little take on breakfast. Get it? Click the link to get all the juicy details on the pet bowl of the future.

Weird art gets another heads up with these two entries. Kind of makes you feel all whoozy and giddy don’t they?

weird-girl-art

art-steps-weird

And finally…our pick for Weird (and tre’s cool) Video of the Week. It’s a honey. Watch it.

So until next week, keep it weird folks.

Weird Chick 5

Well it’s Weird Wednesday again and things are just too weird for words, so I’ll just let the pics speak for themselves (more or less). Weird duds…

weird-clothes

Hey guys, sick of jeans, try a new skort – sure to get the ladies turning their heads.

Weird Parking Job

weird_car_wreck

Just too stressed to bother with parallel parking? No worries just hang for a while.

Weird Pets

1110984_dc20_625x1000

Pet not weird enough, make your own with spare pets, elmer’s glue and giant squid prostethics from the costume shop. Hey, you could win a weird pet contest

Weird Billboards

bubble-gum

What I’m trying to figure out is how they got that much gum???

Weird Writing Implements

geekpen

Want to get your real geek on? Go for this super deluxe geek pen, sure to have every little gizmo and badge of total geekdom

Weird Toys

weird-beach-ball

Not hot enough on the beach, try a giant flame ball – the aerobic workout anyone can appreciate.

Weird Chick 4

ugliest-boxer, fun, weird, stuff

It’s Weird Wednesday and I have once again, scanned the internet for the latest and weridest stuff available. First up is our pick for Weird News – the winner of the ugliest dog contest – pictured above. Click on the pic for the full story.

Weird Art:

strange-art

Wow, talk about being a prisoner of your own mind!

Weird Food:

cobra_whiskey_tallCommon Cobra & Vine Snake Wine

This special whiskey is infused with a real farm raised Cobra snake, Vine Snake, ginseng roots and herbal seed pods. The whiskey is steeped for several months, which then imparts a unique flavour into the whiskey, it is quite an acquired taste. The story is that this is used in SE Asia as a very strong Aphrodisiac; and it also has many medical uses, such as the treatment of back and muscle pain. Every bottle is unique in its own way so therefore the item purchased may differ slightly in looks but not size.

giantbug_pasteGiant Bug Chilli Paste – Extra Hot!

If you’re looking for that unique extra hot dipping paste then this is the one for you. It is made from Crushed Giant Waterbug a.k.a.Water Scorpion (Thai name : Malaengda, used mainly for it’s special aroma), Shrimp paste, garlic, salt, Thai chilli powder and sugar and it makes an excellent dipping paste for edible insects, sticky rice, vegetables, tortilla chips or anything else that takes your fancy. Be warned this paste is pretty hot!

For more fascinating food items, click on the cobra wine to visit this unique website.

And finally …

Weird Vid:

Weird Chick 3

weird-alice

Weird Wednesday has rolled around once again I have scavenged the internet to bring the best and the brightest of the weirdest. And if you click on the pic above, you’ll get shot over to a nice little article about Tim Burton’s soon to be released version of Alice in Wonderland. And yeah, that is Johnny Depp is his own colorful delicious weirdness.

In the News…

This poor guy got a little high and tried to do the javelyn moose jump over a couple of Japanese cars. In part, the article states:

weird-moose

Witnesses appear uncertain as to whether the moose was tranquilized before or after it fell on to both cars, causing $3,000 in damages. Car owners Chris Hair and Cassi Elton were told by Utah Division of Risk Management they would receive no compensation for the damage, as there was no negligence on the part of animal control officers.

Click on the moose to get the full scoop.

Whacky vid #1 from a classic source:

Whacky vid #2 that also incorporates our nominee for weird food of the week – this is a can’t miss, folks.

Weird Art – is it Live or Memorex?

girl-as-art

And finally…

Weird Products which I believe speak for themselves

you-can-shave-the-baby

What child doesn’t want their own babydoll to shave? Seriously?

blowguard

And what pretty girl doesn’t want to preserve her pearly whites by using Blow Guard – yes folks, that really is the name and shit, I just had to post this.

And so ends another weird Wednesday – we hope you had fun and may you stay forever weird.