Five Answers

Alabaster Crippens  had a great little post called Five Questions. I liked it a lot and asked him to create five questions for me. Below are the questions and answers.

1. What’s the saddest fictional event you’ve ever borne witness to?

The belief that we lost the Vietnam War and the propogation of same. And further, that those who were involved were somehow criminals and lower than plant planken. It was a terrible lie and a tragic insult forwarded against people better than you and I who didn’t deserve it. And the liars still continue to spin the lie and somehow make it relevant today. The p.c. kids are the worst of the sad fiction creators around.

2. What’s the most wonderful sound you’ve ever heard?

You can smoke with impunity. Actually, I’ve only ever heard it in my dreams but ….. I’d have to say the most wonderful sound is children laughing.

3. Who do you most want to punch in the face?

It’s a toss-up between Hillary Clinton and Howard Stern. They both gross me out beyond words and are a total waste of space in my opinion. Two things I really cannot tolerate are panderers and liars. Most any other transgression can be forgiven but those two are very difficult for me to tolerate. I don’t understand why anyone would find either of them credible on any topic – they seem absolutely transparent to me.

4. What was the last thing that stopped you in your tracks in amazement?
The attack on the World Trade Tower and the Pentagon and the murders of thousands of my fellow citizens. Which is not to say that there haven’t been amazing things since then but there hasn’t been anything that truly stopped me in my tracks other than 9/11.

5. Have you ever seen something that definitely wasn’t there?

Absolutely and pretty regularly actually. I see ghosts. Often late at night when I’m driving, sometimes on my way to the bathroom and various other places. I once lived in a house that was previously inhabited by an old woman and her ghost would constantly knock over my trash can at night. After a while though, you get used to it. Oh, I also sometimes see what other drivers are planning to do on the road ahead of me – the trick is to not react too soon before they do it. Takes some practice.

Thanks Al for the super cool and groovy questions, I love pop quizzes and this one was good because it was completely unpredictable. Loved it.
WC

God, I Hate Rules!

A Lovely Day In The Neighborhood

 

Okay, so I’m having breffy with Zelda the other day and we’re talking about her dogs…truth be told we’re always talking about her dogs or her cats or her plants. She’s really into the animal kingdom.

Anyway, she decided to take them for a walk the other night which was naturally a bit of a funny disaster. The big dawg (huggy) got away from her to play with a little chihuahua that her Korean neighbors were walking. Apparently there were a few seconds where little chi-chi was flying like a trout on the leash but that’s another story.  So, while big dawg was doing that Lexy (beagle number 1) was just running – anywhere. I guess she ran til she got tired and Zelda found her panting by the side of the road.

Then there is beagle number 2 – a chubby little tri-color who is really a real life version of Deputy Dog. You gotta love him. But he won’t walk. He is afraid of the outside. Literally – no kidding. So Zelda carried him – all 35 lbs of him. You got the picture? Big dawg flailing and going after little chichi like a piece of bait, first beagle just running and Zelda trotting behind carrying second beagle.

So, solution? Dog trainer? Nope? Walk the dogs separately? Nope? Dog Whisperer? Nope. You ready???? She’s getting beagle number 2 a stroller.

Oh yeah, they make strollers for dogs. I can’t wait to see it and I promise I’ll post a picture as soon as I do. Talk about your gullible boomer. Zelda! What are you thinking? 😉

WC

Aren’t You Glad…

we gave control of Congress to the Democrats? Hasn’t life been oh so much better since then? Can’t you hardly wait til Baraka or Billary is Prez?

WC

The Yeah-Whatevers

Lately, it seems I’ve gotten myself a bad case of the ‘yeah-whatevers’ know what I mean? It’s that space you have to get yourself into to protect yourself from the insults and injuries of modern living.

You know like you spend hours over a post and finally get it up and nobody comments. You shrug – ‘yeah, whatever.’

Your readers feel like pimping their posts in your comments section – ‘yeah, whatever.’

You spend $1300 to fix your car only to have it blow a valve 3 weeks later – ‘yeah, whatever.’

Your family decides it’s your turn to get dumped on and criticisms fly across all modes of communication – ‘yeah, whatever.’

Sanjaya makes it to the top 12 on Idol – ‘yeah, whatever.’

You work your ass off for your company all year only to be given sea sickness for  your Christmas bonus – ‘yeah, whatever.’

The old lady next door sells her house to a flip-em dude who is doing round the clock cosmetic changes on the house so he can sell it in a month – forget about any peace and quiet on the weekend – ‘yeah, whatever.’

No matter what you do or don’t eat, your ass just keeps getting bigger and bigger – ‘yeah, whatever.’

Your dog has become some neurotic old lady of a dog who barks non-stop at some invisible interloper, ‘yeah, whatever.’

The only filling you need to get re-done will cost you $189, ‘yeah, whatever.’

Gas is over $3 a gallon just as your commute to work has tripled, ‘yeah, whatever.’

Heroes is on hiatus again, ‘yeah, whatever.’

You basically just have so many nifty things to be depressed about you can’t even pick a favorite, ‘yeah, whatever.’

I’m trying though – I really am trying to get out of this funk. And no I am not bringing in the dah noise with dah funk. I’m trying to find things to be cheerful about. Like my birthday (oh boy now I’m even older) and the prospect of a new car (can’t wait to have yet another monthly payment and more insurance) my new wardrobe (cuz now I’m fatter than I was) but it’s not easy.

Pray for me. Or join in the fun of your own ‘yeah, whatevers’ At least the weekend is upon us. That’s good right?

WC

American I-Dull

 

Boy does that say it or what? Now, I’ll admit I was an AI virgin last year and I suppose I got swept away with it all. But this year sucks so bad already I’m pretty sure I won’t be watching it anymore. It’s too painful to watch the slow slaughter of popular music that way. And frankly watching paint dry has more twists and turns.

Clearly, there are only 3-4 people who can actually sing. The best singer has absolutely no personality. In fact, when she isn’t singing it’s as if she doesn’t actually exist. Which is kind of spooky and makes me wonder if she is a virtual contestant or something. They can do everything else, why not that? And wouldn’t that, after all, be the epitome of the perfect contestant according to Simon Scowell?

I really am bummed though. When I watched last year I had so much fun being a fan. All of them had some talent and they were all interesting and had their own personalities to project. Even when the bad ones (like chicken little) were voted off I was a little teary-eyed. They were all so easy to love or ….hate. It was a thrill a minute and no one looked forward to Tuesday and Wednesday nights like I did. What’s happened?

Was last year a fluke? Pretty much all the losers from last year could beat the contestants of this year. Will anyone actually stay awake long enough to see who wins this snoozer? I can’t even remember any of their names. Or what they look like. Or even sound like. The guys are pretty much clones of one another. The most original one – the asian guy in bare feet (and sadly it was the bare feet that made him stand out) is gone. And I’m alarmed that it will take weeks and weeks to eliminate all the other bad ones, which by my calculations is about 20 of them.

Maybe the thrill is gone and Idol is now just more bad reality t.v. like all the others. There is a season for all things and a time for all things to come to an end. Could this be Idol’s time? Is that why they are starting that lame camp thing? To distract from the fact that out of hundreds of thousands of people who auditioned they came up with this crap as the best of the best? Are they fucking kidding me?

Dull, dull, dull, dull. I may give it another couple of weeks on the off chance someone with a pulse will actually end up on camera – but I’m pretty sure none of us will be jonesing for Idol this year.

What a waste!

WC