Posts I Never Wrote – Part II

Sometime back I did this post. Ironically, it created so much interest that I ended up writing some of the posts I never wrote. I guess you had to be there. But lately, I’ve been thinking and I thought it was time to update the list as I have thought of a whole slew more that I never wrote:

1. My Dog is Obssessed With Bowling. Now, it could be the snazzy shirts or that she likes really smelly, nasty shoes but she’s wild on the subject.

2. Bra’s For Middle-aged Women. There’s nothing we women like more than true support.

3. 10 Ways to Spot Phoney Friends. Contrary to what you might think, it was an expose on cell phones.

4. Zelda and the Wonderful World of Real Estate. Or as we like to call it in the real world, how the money pit robbed my friend of her life savings.

5. Angst Revisited. Hey, if Jack Kerouac can do this shit and get away with it, why can’t I?

6. How to Kill 100 Tadpoles Without Trying. I could never figure out what kind of garden gloves would be appropriate at the memorial. Suggestions?

7. Why Coffee Will Be Illegal Soon. Based on the premise that since we all love to make things as fucking hard as possible as we can for ourselves, that some Washington D.C. genius will come up with coffee as an alternate fuel and riots over used Starbux coffee grinds will break out on the streets of every major city in the U.S.

8. My Inner Woman is Having Hot Flashes. No, this wasn’t a recipe post.

9. Time Waits for No Man, But Women Are Another Story. Time management is still a trendy topic, yes?

10. If it Sticks to the Wall, Don’t Eat It. I never could find those pictures of the 500,000 times magnifyed germs that live in all of our kitchens.

11. Perfect Women – Pass the Anti-depressants. It ain’t easy being me.

12. Going Clubbing Does Not Involve Baseball Bats. Anger management on steroids.

So, there you have it, additional posts I never wrote, nor am I likely. How about you? What posts haven’t you written lately?


14 thoughts on “Posts I Never Wrote – Part II

  1. The post that I could have written tonight but didn’t:

    Oi!!!! You… The D(*&head on the Motorbike – why overtaking on the inside and sitting in someone’s blind spot whilst on a motorbike is not a good idea.

    I love your list too. Can we use some of them as ideas if we want and see what we come up with LOL

    Hey Gem,
    Now that’s a post I would like to read and btw, you could have said dickhead – I wouldn’t have minded – especially since given the situation, that seems the exact right word.

    Sure, if any of the ideas inspire you – go for it. πŸ˜†


  2. Wow – I just cleaned out a bunch of drafts in my blog for ideas that never went anywhere. I don’t think any of them had as interesting titles as yours do. You could start handing out just your titles as writing assignments and see what your friends come up with. Sounds like fun. LOL. πŸ™‚

    LOL Teens,
    Isn’t that how we got to be buddies? πŸ™‚ Well, they are there if anyone wants to take a stab at them – maybe someone will. πŸ˜‰


  3. Ah, titles. The key to readership. If only I were as clever as you. I’ll always remember “The Accidental Meatloaf.”

    LOL 30 – that was a good one and it came so easily. The pics are the tough thing for me. I’ll spend hours (no joke) looking for the right pic – can we say obsessed much? πŸ˜‰



  4. I love your lists. Good stuff!

    The post I didn’t write last night . ..

    “Why I went to Dairy Queen and ordered a Banana Cream Pie Blizzard, Instead of Working Out.”

    Like, seriously.

    Hey Ramblin’
    Heck I can think of 25 answers for why I’d go to Dairy Queen rather than work out. And man does that sound good. πŸ™‚


  5. Hi WC,

    I had one, Springtime for Hitler, that I had to not publish once I found out that it had already been done πŸ™‚

    Oh, and as to #10, one of the traditional ways to test pasta for doneness is to throw some on the wall and see if it sticks.

    the Grit

    Dang, Grit, doncha hate it when all the good titles are taken? πŸ˜† Yes, I know that is the tradtional way to test pasta but you don’t want to eat that test piece do you? Do you have any idea what kind of floopy shit is on your kitchen walls? It’s too gross to even specify. Unless Mr. Clean lives in your house, in which case I guess it doesn’t matter.


  6. 6. How to Kill 100 Tadpoles Without Trying…again with tadpole deaths!! Do I need to be calling the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to All Things Wiggly on you?

    Huh, posts I will never write. Well, since I’m not good at self-censoring myself, anything I think of would likely get written!

    Hey Panther,
    You’re right, there may be a pattern here. Oh-oh. Maybe I’m an amphibian cereal killer? I’m not that good at self censoring either – mostly just lazy. πŸ˜‰


  7. i lurve 11 & 12 the best.
    i believe you should get started on those two ASAP! πŸ˜†

    You’re so funny and smart, Chica.
    i don’t know why you’ve not written any of these- you’d do excellent with them i know it!

    Hey Chica, 11 & 12 do make a fun couple, don’t they? πŸ˜‰ Sometimes all you get is a title, Chica – don’t know why – but sometimes that’s just it. Anyone who wants to give any of them a whirl is certainly welcome to. LOL – maybe I should start a title business? I can do that all day long, make up titles. I wonder if anybody would pay me for that? LOL


  8. I have yet to publish a post about a transgender police officer. But it is in draft as we speak.

    Is this a true story or a trip through your fantastic imagination? πŸ˜‰


  9. I have a fair amount of posts I haven’t written. I’d tell you what they were about, but I have no idea. I’ll have a title and something I thought would help me remember my idea, but, um, no. But, I cannot delete them out of fear that one day I will look at one of them and say, Hey, now I remember!

    Hi dcr & welcome to my little dive,
    I had to laugh at your comment because I’ve done that too. Jotted down the title thinking it was going to be enough for my memory to search out the idea at a later date, only to find my mind is a sieve with big gaping holes. Although, if I come up with a key phrase or sentence I find if I repeat it to myself several times, somehow that keeps the idea tucked in place until I need it. Weird, huh?



  10. Oh my, that’s hilarious! I just deleted my drafts since I’m never going to write them. I know that once a draft doesn’t get written within 48 hours, then it is toast.

    Perhaps we should share draft titles on an ongoing basis to see if others could do something with them!

    Hey Daisy girl!
    You know that’s not a half bad idea. Maybe we should just have a title swap meet. Where we can trade each others’ ideas and see where they take us. I’ve always liked a challenge. πŸ˜‰


  11. You are SO creative!

    The two drafts I have with titles and yet no words in the body are… (drumroll pls)
    Beautiful Desolation
    Wander the Words

    I think I stole Wander the Words and failed to note where from so I guiltily never attempted more.

    Oooh C, I love ‘beautiful desolation’ makes me really wonder what that one is about. Wander the words sounds pretty cool too – but it sounds familar – maybe it’s just one of those titles that does???


  12. Are you serious about using the titles?
    R gave me twelve titles and i wrote some decent stuff… i think i’d be interested in that, Chica.

    As far as all the elbows is concerned, i have drafts. Drafts and drafts that just sit there. Taunting me!

    i’m a terrible titler. 😦

    Sure I am. Is there one in particular you want to use? πŸ™‚


  13. Hi WC,

    I wipe the kitchen walls with a bleach solution twice a week, so I’d probably take a test bite of the wall thrown pasta. Now, if it hits the floor, assuming the dogs don’t get it, I’d call in a HASMET team for the disposal πŸ™‚

    the Grit

    Mmmm Grit, bleach-flavored spaghetti – it’s making my mouth water as we speak. Yes, if it hits the floor, it definitely belongs to the dogs. No question there. πŸ˜‰


  14. Oh gosh, I can’t even tell you how many posts I haven’t written or published. Some I really want to write, but I just know it would be better if I kept my mouth shut. πŸ˜‰

    I don’t know, Dube, sometimes it’s the posts we don’t think we should write that turn out to be our best stuff. I understand though, I sometimes go through periods of censoring myself on my blog, then I think what’s up with that? LOL – maybe we could trade off. You do mine and I’ll do yours? πŸ˜‰


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