Okay, so you all know that the new job has been rough from the beginning. But today was the ultimate – one of my staff informed me that they all hate me. Just call me office road kill. Imagine my joy at the news.
Followed by the doctor getting in my face about something, followed by the consultant making fun of me for being upset. I don’t think I’m going to make it there.
I think I am just the wrong person for the job. I have no one to talk to – and feel like such an outsider there it is just misery.
The worse part of it is – that my blogging has really sucked since I started the job too – which really pisses me off.
I don’t know what I’m going to do – I don’t even know what I can do. Tomorrow I have lunch with the doctor and the consultant – during which I expect them to get on me about whatever – so that will be a meal I won’t be eating.
I never knew I was so unlovable and in fact detestible. Gives one pause, you know? Sorry for the whining but it’s the only thing I can really think about right now. Can you say, ‘head exploding’?
19 thoughts on “It’s Official – They Hate Me”
Feeling like an outsider is horrible, not matter what the setting is. Your co-workers just don’t know a good thing when they see it. It’s their loss.
I agree with the last comment, you should have a place where people apperciate you. I hope you’re able to find one, WC.
Thanks Kelsey – you’re such a sweet young woman, I appreciate your concern.
You’ve hardly been there long enough for them to know you and they already hate you?
OK, worst case scenario: they all DO hate you. What kind of loser just flat out hates someone before they’ve tried to get to know them and welcome them to the team. What kind of total loser TELLS someone they are hated?? And what kind of COMPLETE STINKING LOSER makes fun of someone who’s upset?
I’ll tell ya: The kind of losers that are feeling threatened because you are getting close to the truth. They are killing the business and you are exposing them.
This doctor has been in business a long time. For you to find the place in such disarray when you arrived says the losers have been at it for some time now. To have the doctor to give you grief, tells me the losers have created a lemming out of her. She will either have to rise up above the masses and see what is happening or, continue on sticking garbage in every nook and cranny and wonder why business isn’t turning around.
Whatever grief you are getting is a compliment of the highest level.
Ditto what anonymum said. All of it.
My hero! Thanks honey. I’ll email you later about it. Okay?
Grrr. Small office politics suck worse than any other kind. My dad was a doctor, and a lot of his office staff took advantage of him for awhile. He took his eye off the billing, and they screwed him. He really never recovered from it financially. I’m sure the reason they hate you is that you’re actually doing your job and are probably going to reveal some poo they don’t want anyone else to see. Hang in there. I think you’re very likeable…just not by bad people.
You know Lass, you have to wonder if this is just a usual thing in Dr’s offices. Some of what you said really struck a chord. I suppose it could be just as simple as I am just really wrong for this position. I dunno.
You put on your battle helmet and you go to that lunch prepared!!! Give it to them with both barrels and let that doctor know just where she stands. Bring notes or evidence if you have to and in the meantime-look for somewhere else where your appreciated……
and all the above comments are right…WHAT A BUNCH OF LOSERS!!!!
I would but I look really bad in hats. 😉 Thanks honey.
You already know how I feel on this.
As I told you, don’t take any shit from anyone.
I know that right now you can’t believe it but this will pass.
If anything this should give you some radical ideas for skumbag characters to use in your fiction.
Watch and listen for the juicy stuff.
These people have no idea who you are.
They sucked before you started working there and they’ll still suck in ten years.
Put up your dukes and let them have it.
Thanks Mikey, my favorite part of what you said These people have no idea who you are.
We do. Screw ’em.
I think that says it all.
You can’t be unlovable even if you tried. PULEEZ. (See that, you just made me break the boundries of spelling and lower myself to a very sad world.) Anyway, I’m sorry that people are being mean. Normally I don’t result to physical violence, but– you know, if you want me to…
Well otay Kenzie – keep your boxing gloves handy, I’ll let you know if I need reinforcements. 😉
Damn…now I feel guilty for encouraging you to switch jobs! What a pack of assholes! Time to maybe pull out the ole resume and start shopping around again? I mean what can it hurt to at least SEE what other options might be out there. In the meantime, try not to let them bring you down. Tall order I know…but we do have that new car (payment) to consider!
Don’t worry, I won’t lose my head over it. Somehow I will find a way to cope. Thanks, hon.
Hey there WC I have to agree with all the above. To hell with those who do not appreciate you. I do not know you as well as all the other bloggers but I know this, everytime I read your blog you make me laugh or put a smile on my face.:) Therefore I know that you are a loving, giving person. You just keep on being you! If others feel threatened to hell with them!
Glad I can give you a laugh or a smile. That makes me feel good. Thanks, Kath.
The Brit and I like you, which may give you some insight into why your co-workers don’t 😉 Actually, before I became self employed, it was my experience that when I was popular in the office, I wound up getting canned.
As to the consultant, fire him/her/it at once. This will not only establish fear in the remaining employees, but will provide some personal satisfaction. Oh, make sure you do it in front of others in the office, and smile during the long walk out the door.
Sorry you’re down,
Hi Grit! Well I like you and Brit too. And actually you make a good point. Especially the popular equals being canned part. I laughed about that. I’ll keep you posted on my strategy.
I, too, enjoy reading your blog! Those co-workers of yours are probably just intimidated by your sparkling personality. Let those humorless people be…
Wow Catchy! Thanks. And welcome. LOL – sparkling personality, eh? You’ve no idea how much that made me laugh. 😉
Oh, I agree with Michael’s comment, it is a great opportunity for character research.
My mom and I joke after someone’s been cruel or simply thoughtless that someday they’ll make a wonderful example in something we’re writing. So, take notes! Writing about them later will be a great way of “getting back,” in a round about kind of way. 😉
Now that’s interesting because I’ve had some pretty nasty characters waltz in and out of my life. One in particular I’ve never been able to fit into a story. I should make that a challenge to myself – to fit the ‘evil one’ into a story. That could at least distract me for a while. Thanks!
I can remember about 8 years back and I was dealing with a middle management asshole who was supposed to be leaving guys like myself run the show wthout interference. Guess how that went so being the person I am I wrote on the blackboard welcome to “so and so’s puppet show” He saw that outside the office and confronted me. Saying I’m not here to make people happy, to which I replied well you’re doing a fucking good job of it! You know after that cleared the air things were different. So I say do the job your best WC maybe they are intimidated by you and your skills. So kick ass
and take names 😉
That’s a great story, Ger. I don’t know about kicking ass though – I mean, is it worth it? Maybe I need to just see what else is out there. At least the last couple of days have been bearable.
hunny you know i am sending good thoughts your way, as i steal your movie quiz and paste it to my blog LOL
come check it out!
seriously though, i’ve been at jobs where i didn’t exactly fit in, but i braved it until something better came along. if they act mean or hateful, just take them outside and smack the piss of out them a few times…
Hey blog theft is flattery of the highest order, isn’t it? 😉
Yes, I can feel your good thoughts coming my way and thanks dear. Smacking the piss out of them does have a certain appeal but what if I break a nail or something? I will need an emergency wrap and you know how expensive those are. 😉
They all hate you because they can’t be like you. I know it sounds corny, but it could be envy.
But, since life doesn’t always have the same morals as The Cosby Show conveys, I suggest you start going out of your way to piss them off. Or get anonymum to smash their teeth in.
LOL DT, you made me think of that old, old commercial where the english model looks into the camera and pouts then says ‘don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.‘
Getting A-Mum to get after them sounds good though. 😉
The most important thing to keep in mind is that whatever problems these people are having, are just that, their problems. I agree that it is rude to tell someone that everyone hates you. It’s rude, but it also sheds some light on their immaturity, hate is not even a real emotion. It’s stems from something else-usually fear, jealousy, or lack of self-esteem on the one doing the hating. The only exception would be if you were a disgusting, despicable, evil person that went around purposefully reaking havoc on others, or intentionally harming them. Which you do not. I’m sorry, this must be very frustrating for you. You took a chance on this job and there was obviously ‘something’ that they liked, or they wouldn’t have hired you. But look at it this way, it’s not working out. Sometimes that happens, trust me I know. However, the main thing is to not internalize other peoples issues as your own. Sometimes in life we have to realize that we simply ARE better than other people. There’s nothing snotty or bitchy about it. It’s just truth. Perhaps they can’t handle that, but like M says who cares. If I know you (the little that I do) like I think I do, then you’re not going to put up with this shit. After all, you’re WRITER CHICK for crying out loud. And she would never tolerate this crap from anyone. Give yourself the same advice that you’d give any one of us, tell them to take their disfunctional office politics and stick em up their behinds. Good luck today, let us know what happens in the meeting and if you need us to post bail money 🙂 ….. Hang in there~ anabel
Sometimes in life we have to realize that we simply ARE better than other people. There’s nothing snotty or bitchy about it. It’s just truth. LOL – you had me laughing so hard my grilled cheese samich almost ended up on my screen. 😉
Good advice about not internalizing other people’s issues – didn’t think of that. Just one of those situations where you are so caught off guard you don’t know what to say or how to respond. And where the hell was that WRITER CHICK when this happened? I blame her, I really do.
I’ll keep you posted on the bail money issue – is it a limited time offer? 😉
Don’t feel bad, my boss hates me too. He hasn’t spoken to me all day except to yell at me. I feel like I may have an embolism if I have to stay here one more second. Now there is someone that you hate, never anyone like you.
Hey don’t have that embolism – that’s bad for the brains. I know how you feel though – when I lived in Florida I worked for one of the meanest SOBs I have ever met and what a meglamaniac. He thought the sun rose and set on his say -so. He was a southern boy he felt perfectly at home making racial slurs a usual part of his conversation and if you responded he’d lazily say ‘oh pawdun mah french’ and carry on as if he hadn’t said anything at all. I felt insane when I worked for him. I was smoking almost two packs of cigs a day – had to quit before I literally imploded. ”
So…get the heck away from that guy – it’s never worth it to stick around those kinds of people.
Ok, I totally agree with everything everyone said here.
Personally I think people hate us at work simply because we make them feel inadequate…I can imagine you would do that to people but you know what? It’s their problem not yours. It’s so much easier for people to pull others down than to raise themselves to the next level. I think it’s time you looked for a job where your appreciated….
I really hate that you were spoken to like this, it’s just plain wrong. I’ve never missed my net connection more than I do right now…I’m thinking of you love. Hang in there. YOU know who you really are, these guys don’t know shit.
Aw thanks, sweetie. No worries – as they say, this too shall pass. I wonder though if I’m just not the wrong candidate for this job. It could be as simple as that. I dunno. We’ll see how it goes for a while yet. In a weird way, this occurance was good because it took off the surface tension and I know where I stand. Hard to describe why ultimately I feel a bit relieved…but I do. Anyway, I’ll keep you posted.
Too bad about the connection…I guess this means that you’re still waiting? That must really suck – I imagine you and your mum are going a little stir-crazy, eh? 😆
I feel your pain! After four years at a small company, I left to pursue a position with a larger and more profitable company. On the freakin very first day, I thought it was odd how two out of four of my coworkers flat-out ignored me. Now they have a third coworker avoiding me as well. I *KNOW* I didn’t do anything to piss them off since they behaved this way from the first day. Now I’ve been here eight weeks and I’m ready to tell them to fuck off and quit.
What should you do? Same thing I am… start making calls, sending resumes and putting some serious effort to make a change. I’m convinced for both you and me that it won’t get better over time… just continue to suck. Hang in there.
You know, I’ve had time to reflect on the job that this post talked about. I’ve long since left and am better for it. In my case, the situation was that I misunderstood the lay of the land. I came in believing that what was needed and wanted was to improve the business, the efficiency, the quality of service and the profitability. What I discovered late in the game was that all that was really needed and wanted was to pull their butts out of the frying pan they were currently in, so that they could continue to do what they wanted. Once I realized this, leaving was a very easy thing to do and I didn’t take it quite so personally as I had.
It may be you are in a similar situation. You may be upsetting the status quo with new and innovative ideas, things that would increase productivity and decrease loss of profits and inefficiency. If the crew is one that has been there a long time or there is a clique of same, particularly in the area or department you are working, you very likely represent an enormous threat to them and they will stop at nothing to either get you sacked or to run from the building screaming.
It is ironic that sometimes moving to a better paying job doesn’t mean you are moving to a better job. It can sometimes be that the higher pay scale is inspired by more hell than anything else for the unsuspecting new employee.
Best of luck,
hi ….i just came across your blog, i was searching for answers to the same problem, i secured a job as assistant manager ,moved 1000kms . On the first day i was undermined by management and staff the current manager had resigned and all staff where told not to tell me . then in the first week i got a bad flu and had to drag myself to work . i advised the interim manager i would be looking after myself and would be in as early as i could .
i received an email telling me my start time and had to be there etc .
then it started …the team i am meant to be supervising have been secretive distant and to be honest rude .
i am really struggling to understand what i have done , i am depressed and just feel like an outsider ….they hate me ….it is the worst feeling because i haven’t really made any changes
YET ….they treat each other like sisters and all go out together …they are rude ….if you have any advice i would really appreciate it ……i thought this job would be great …i have managed before …no issues ..this is a womens only org ……anyway ..hope to hear more about your story i understand totally …it really makes you feel bad about yourself and wanting to just make it work …..not sure i can ….hope that makes sense.
Hi Yvonne & welcome,
First of all, I doubt you’ve done anything wrong. In my case, the staff’s response to me had to do with their own bad deeds. Meaning, that with few exceptions most of the staff were goldbrickers, slackers and essentially being paid for doing nothing. They spent most of their time deciding where they would order lunch, what they would do after work, sneaking out for smokes and surfing the internet and of course engaging in gossip. One girl in particular was a big problem and because she was the doctor’s best friend’s daughter I bent over backwards working with her and trying to get her actually trained to properly do her job. She ended up quitting then went home and told her mother literally a basket of lies of how I threatened her and called her names and told her she was incompetent. Which I did not do. She said I had essentially fired her. Of course this was all reported to the doctor and we had several discussions about it, I did everything I could to assure her it wasn’t true. But I don’t think she ever truly believed me. And then I spent several months slogging through trying to get her practice in shape, which was quite a feat considering her previous manager had embezzled hundreds of thousands of dollars from her, was suing the doctor on two fronts, had stolen the vendor files and hadn’t done a bank reconciliation in 18 months. So, we had no vendor files and didn’t know how much we owed anyone and literally had no idea how much money we had in the bank. It was a mess. Eventually it got sorted out, the former managed was prosecuted and the practice started running pretty well. However, the staff continued to be problematic and it was more like a friend-fest than a business.
A moment of clarity arrived for me when during a conversation with the doctor she told me, she didn’t care that the staff was taking advantage – she said it was more important to her that it was like a little family and they had fun, etc. At that moment I realized that my efforts were not only in vain but they were going against what the doctor wanted. I had managed to help her avert shutting down which she wanted – but my efforts to change the way things operated and to make the business efficient and profitable was of little interest to her. So I quit – because I had accomplished what she wanted and I wasn’t interested in becoming part of the ‘family’ so to speak.
It may be that you are dealing with a similar situation and I have seen it a lot in small businesses – this attitude that the ‘family’ was more important than the business. If that is the case, you either have to join in and oblige or move on.
On the other hand it may just be that you are being put through the paces because you are new – which also happens a lot in new jobs. Since you are in a position of authority it is normal for staff to challenge you. It’s just human nature. You know?
I would suggest (if you haven’t already) that you sit down with your boss and get a detailed list of what he or she wants you to accomplish in your new position. What needs improvement, what needs to simply be reinforced and what should just be left alone because it works. Then I would determine who the ring leader is among the staff – the person who the rest of the staff seem to follow and/or mimic. Then I’d sit down with that person and find out everything there is to know about their position, what they do that is successful and even ask for advice on how to approach certain staff or situations. If you can get this person on your side, they will help you and you will learn more quickly what goes on and what needs to be done about it. Often when new management comes in the staff are a little wary and worry that they will just make a lot of changes and new hires just because they are new and it makes them insecure.
Anyway, in my experience it’s one of the other situation. In a new job I always try to just spend a lot of time in the beginning observing and making notes of what I see across the spectrum, what’s good, what’s bad, what needs to be changed, what needs to be reinforced, and what should just stay the same. Once I feel I have a handle on that, then it is pretty easy where to go from there. Whether it is to jump in and get the job done or to move on.
Unfortunately, jobs aren’t always a good fit – even if on paper it seems that way. Only you can determine if it is worth the effort to stay and slog through.
I wish you the best of luck and feel free to come back and let me know what happens.
Just remember when people react badly it isn’t always about you – in fact, it rarely is (unless you’re just a big jerk) usually it’s either something you don’t know that is going on behind the scenes or there is someone creating the situation behind your back.