It could be worse – I could have writer’s block…


In the interest of full disclosure, I have quit smoking many times before. However, this time seems different. Mostly because I want this time to stick. I don’t want to start smoking again.

Ostensibly, I quit because the cost of cigarettes in CA has gotten so high that it’s an insult to pay the price of a meal for a pack of cigarettes. And don’t get me started about all those do-gooders who vote for raising the taxes on cigarettes and similar items – thinking they are so right and we who indulge are so wrong. Because one day, they’ll have to leverage taxes on something they really love like, I don’t know, weed? Frappucino’s? Vapes? Anyway….

And because I really am committed about quitting I have had an interesting 33 days. Going through withdrawal (and let’s be honest nicotine is a drug and quitting is withdrawal) has produced some weird effects, like:

My right foot and ankle swell up over the course of the day. So badly sometimes it appears I don’t have an ankle, just a block of wood at the end of my leg. Oddly, it all goes away over night.

I feel a little drunk – not quite focused, a bit dizzy and a little loopy

I’m muttering more than usual

Food doesn’t taste amazing (like so many claim upon quitting), in fact, it hardly tastes at all.

It takes me five times longer to do anything. Walk to the corner. Make a sandwich. Edit a paragraph. Things that typically I can do quickly without effort, are now Herculean tasks.

Life seems empty. Like totally. Like completely black.

Blank moments. Not sure what I’m doing during them, probably because I go blank?

I fear substitute smoking products. Vaping equipment, eCigs, patches, gums, lozenges – anything that contains nicotine or mimics smoking gives me the shudders. (Lest I start smoking again).

Junk food is my new cigarette. In order to fight the cravings I’ve given myself permission to eat whatever I want in any quantity of my choosing. Consequently, I have stocked up on chips, chocolate, pastries, and candy. Oh and ice cream. Yes, so being super obese is more healthy than smoking, right?

I’m not sure that writing about my trials and tribulations of getting the nicotine monkey off my back is really helping – me or anyone else. However, maybe it is.

And I want to thank both online and offline friends who have supported me in this goal – your encouragement has made a huge difference. ❤

How about you? Have you quit smoking? Did it stick or did you have to try several times before you succeeded? What’s the weirdest thing that happened to you during cigarette withdrawal? Tell me all your smoking stories in the comments.

Annie (who is not smoking but would like to be)







4 thoughts on “It could be worse – I could have writer’s block…

  1. I quit smoking twenty-six years and six months ago. Because one day I lit up and my heart started beating right out of my chest and scared the sh*t our of me. Plus, whenever I smoked it was accompanied with an alcoholic beverage. I had also quit drinking one week before I quit smoking. So if I smoke I may start drinking again (habits ARE hard to break), and/or I may get the sh*t scared out of me again and neither of those things appeal. Oh and smoking causes lines-and I am so vain.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my gosh. I had a weird pounding heart thing too. LOL – it does scare the sh*t outta you, doesn’t it?

      I agree too about habits dying hard. I won’t even let myself have an eCig or any nicotine replacement products because the last time I tried to quit I did and I started smoking within 3 days.

      LOL – yes, we want our faces to remain smooth and definitely line-less.

      Now, if I could just get off the junk food…

      Thanks, for sharing Elva. It’s good to know that success can happen. ❤


  2. You can do it!

    At least the want to quit hadn’t come from a big scare like my mother had last year. She had a heart attack, died on the helicopter ride to the hospital. they brought her back but still. She’s not quite the same now a little odd at times. So ya eat the food, you can always lose the weight and then go back to a nice diet of healthy home made food after you’ve won this battle. (If you haven’t already.)


    1. Oh, I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. I would imagine coming back from death’s door would change a person though. I hope she’s doing better.

      As for me, I’m still hanging in there – so that’s good. And I’m trying to stop the impulse eating which is going okay. It’s just one day at a time, I’m afraid.

      Thanks for your words of support.


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